[YuriTokoro]

@Columbine
Hi. I have rewritten my short composition with your help.
What do you think?

Customs of Japan

When you come to Japan and go drinking with Japanese people, some of them will say, “Let’s start with beer!” and then you’ll all give a toast. If you want to behave like the Japanese, you'll need to pour for other people, even when you are not a host or a hostess. This is a kind of Japanese traditions, and how Japanese people communicate each other while drinking.
A legal adult is twenty years old here. When there are unmarried young women, you should look after their glasses carefully, because a woman can’t pour for herself. If an unmarried young woman pours for herself, it is said that she will not be able to get married. So a woman has to wait until someone notices her glass. If a woman wants to be poured, she pours for someone, and then the person must notice her empty glass and pour for her.
Is this too much of a bother? Perhaps, but if you are a man, I think this could be a good excuse to speak to a young woman who you like. Good luck!

Thank you!