Quote:
Originally Posted by MMM
You sound a little judgmental about the Japanese sense of debt and I don't think it is anything we can judge. I hope I am not going too off topic here, but I have a couple of points to make.
One of the positive things I have adopted for myself is finding balance and showing gratitude when people do nice things for me. A "one way" transaction should be (to me) a "two way" transaction. For example, I learned early on that if an older individual pays for my food or drinks, it is important to show my genuine thanks at that time AND immediately the next time I see them. You would be surprised how many Americans are taken aback when reminded they did something nice for someone, and it is still appreciated.
I guess this isn't off topic because it is part of the social harmony of Japan to feel indebted when someone does something nice for you. If you were to make dinner for me before we went to a show I WOULD feel like I should return the favor to you somehow. Chances are I would ask you "What can I bring?" in advance or bring drinks to show my thanks.
I think this is good for society, as if we are all takers we need a lot of givers. It is more balanced if everyone is takers and givers.
|
I just came off an 12-hour shift so if I'm taking this the wrong way please forgive me, but judgmental HOW? Because I find that a little offensive, frankly. I don't think I claimed it was either a positive or negative thing, just a thing that IS. Fair enough, maybe I have an observationally narrow view of it, but I am categorically in no way saying either the 'japanese' way of it is better or worse than any other way of things. Neither did I call it a sense of debt; it's simply that they perceive some situations as two-way when westerners might see it as a one-sided thing. Actually, right back at you, isn't your view of westerners as being 'rude' about 'not giving' rather unfairly judgmental as well?