Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro
Hi.
Could someone correct my English?
I’m sorry; it’s meaningless drivels. 
Dream.
I dreamed this morning.
In the dream, I needed to go somewhere. I seemed to be on a big ship or a huge vehicle, and was about to attend a meeting. I decided to visit the bathroom before the meeting starts when the floor shook violently. I stumbled backward several steps. Then I saw many people coming down the hall. I pushed my way through the crowd with great effort. The ground kept shaking and I went backward again. I felt as thought I were a tiny boat in a hurricane.
Next I saw a stairway in front of me. My destination seemed to be on the upper floor.
I crawled up the stairs because the floor kept shaking. The ship must have been in a huge typhoon. I tumbled down twice, and then I managed to touch the top of the stair steps. Except they had become a big vaulting box I had to clear.
Since the floor was shaking I wasn’t able to jump, so I climbed up the box.
Behind the box, there was the door and I rushed at it.
Finally I opened the door, when I woke up.
I felt really tired.
Thank you! |
Sounds like a scene from "The Poseidon Adventure", Yuri. Glad you managed to escape the ship, even if it left you tired afterwards.
Most of the revisions were to verb tenses, or changing verbs to more action-oriented ones ("stumbled" or "crawled" instead of walked). The section about the vaulting box had its beginning changed. It was a continuation of the descriptions in the previous sentence that had to be separated to both read easier and provid dramatic impact.
Hope that helps, Yuri. And have a better rest tonight, hm?
