[steven]

Let me ask you this: how many times have you gotten angry at "foreigners" because some of them seem to do things that are annoying? I think we all get angry at a group of people to some degree.

To create an example, let me describe some of the characteristics of a pretty normal Japanese (male for convenience) that might stand out in America.

1. He cuts his nails at work.
2. He takes his shoes off all the time while at his desk.
3. He always slurps his noodles.
4. He talks to himself a lot.
5. He drinks his soup straight from the bowl.
6. He's overly apologetic.
7. He looks like he's asleep during meetings.
8. He talks down to people below him at work.
9. He complains about the weather all the time.
10. He likes to eat fish, raw fish, natto, kimchi, etc. at work.

This is just a short list of things. I've heard all of these things complained about by Americans and people from English speaking countries both while in America and while in Japan, so I'd say they are realistic. Assuming this person is fluent in English, I'd be willing to bet that a lot of people would complain about this (if not formally) if this kind of thing was going on at the work place in some areas. Now imagine the person barely speaks any English at all and doesn't really understand it... I'd bet that would be an even bigger problem.

I'm not suggesting that you take the opposites of these things by imagining yourself as a "foreigner" who is annoying because he doesn't "drink his soup". I'm saying that things on this list have their equivilants in Japan. Not only that, but as we all know Japan is a more homogenous country culturally speaking... I know that is brought up constantly, but I think that makes certain rules, or manners if you like, a lot more firm than they would be in a place like Southern California where accepting different people is expected in the work environment (and not doing so can get you into trouble).

So while I think dying your hair black, getting laser hair removal on your beard and body hair, and getting rid of all the "cuffs" on all your pants is most certainly taking thigns too far, I think that refusing to adapt,even if not on every level, to a country who is letting you stay there is... rude.

It is my opinion that humans are supposed to adapt in all social situations. I'd say that we constantly are. If you meet a new friend or a new group of friends you will start using words and phrases that they use... you will eventually be influenced by their fashion too. It doesn't have to be such a conscious decision. Making a conscious decision to not comply with those things will likely lead to a loss of friendship at some point. I think that's what we're talking about.