Quote:
Originally Posted by chiuchimu
Does this fit into changing to fit in? I don't know. But I agree with Steve that it would be in the visitors best interest to get some of this covered. At least what it takes to get a job and a place to live.
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I think what you said does have to do with fitting in. There is clearly a linguistic aspect to all of what you said about Japan. There's certain things that, as a foreigner, you'd not be able to pick up in a conversation if you didn't have an understanding of a lot of the subtler things.
However I think most Japanese are aware of this by now and are able to adjust their language so it'd be easier to understand for a foreigner.
That statement that I just made is kind of flawed thinking though... Especially from a Japanese perspective (I'd think). Going somewhere and expecting people to change something just for you is rude. Even expecting-- or making verbally apparent what would be normal is rude. It's like going to someone's house and being like "where's my tea?". The host not giving you tea could be a form of communication. Maybe they are busy and have to go somewhere, but they don't want to have to be blunt with you about it. Japanese people are on the same page about stuff like this... some foreigners are and some aren't. 気を使う goes beyond words and well into the territory of actions. So if you don't do something at a certain time (which you'd do based on verbal and non verbal cues) then you're gonna look weird. I think that is a huge part of this conversation about "fitting in".
I think most people know about the term on this forum, but I'm sure at least a couple don't. Knowing this phrase might help explain what I meant: KY = Kuki Yomenai 空気読めない. 空気 (kuki) means something like 'air'. 読めない means like 'can't read'. In English we have a phrase that goes 'read between the lines'. This goes for written language-- you are expected to understand that there is something else going on... beyond what is written down. In Japanese that goes for spoken language (I wouldn't know about the written language much). You're supposed to be able to read and react appropriately to peoples' actions, to what people say (and everything 'in between the lines' of what they say), as well as to the 'air' between people. By linguistic cues alone you can tell if someone is older or higher up. There is physical and linguistic distance. Not being able to understand that (along with a bunch of other subtle things... which are a part of 'fitting in') makes you "KY".