Quote:
Originally Posted by Columbine
That's really harsh. :< Well, by my standards anyway. Is that particularly common, or did your cousin just fall into an unusually difficult situation? My friend had a similar experience, come to think of it. They weren't engaged but her boyfriend, who she really loved, couldn't accept her (admittedly very complicated) family. She couldn't very well ditch her family, but there were fundamental problems between her mother and her boyfriend that neither party could overcome, so the relationship fell apart in the end. It was pretty sad. Neither wanted it, but well... there you go.
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Yes, that's like setsunai. i think setsunai for Japanese isn't a physical brick wall in most cases. Instead, its social circumstance that cannot be over come or ignored. Like in your friend or my cousins case, if one of the three parties, boy,girl or family, stood down, everything would be OK. But, socially, we can't ask our families to stand down(up to a point). Girl can't break her bond with family, boy can't learn to accept her family. There is nothing that can be done.
My cousins fiance was an adopted child. Her parents adopted her for the sole purpose that she carry on the family Inn because they could not make any children of their own. She was allowed to go off to college not only to learn, but also that she might meet someone and bring back a husband that would take over the family business with her. That was her parents plan. She met my cousin in college but he had plans for his own future. He wanted her to run away with him, but she couldn't disrespect the parents that cared for her so she broke off the marriage.