Quote:
Originally Posted by ddubb
"It was early in our relationship when I noticed Saori didn't respond well to anything except her name."
Columbine wouldn't tolerate anyone calling her Sugar on a first date. Would, or did Saori? I said it was early in our relationship, certainly not our first date so I don't know where that came from.
And yes, I had considered that it might have nothing to do with nationality and it could just be that my girlfriend is the sort of girl who just simply loathes pet names. But nowhere in my post is any indication that she is the sort of girl who simply loathes pet names. Quite the opposite. It turns out that at most she had a mild apprehension or maybe suspicion about them. When I say she "didn't know" how to take that sort of address, she "didn't know" what to read into it, I mean precisely that: she didn't know.
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First date, first week, first month, whatever. I'd still be cocking an eyebrow and saying to my friends "Nice guy and I like him but he calls me 'sugar' and 'baby' all the time. What the hell?" And that was my point. Me, as a Non-Japanese person, would be doing the exact same things your girl is doing; figuring out the precise whys and wherefores of this behavior I find odd. I would definitely be asking if it's what you did with an ex-girlfriend because I might like to point out that i don't like my likes being lumped into a general 'what girls like' category. Maybe your ex liked it. Good for her. But I'm an individual, and I'm not so sure, so it's kind of off to assume I'll like it right off the bat.
Or, honestly, none of my boyfriends have ever used pet names, so no, i wouldn't know quite how to take it if a guy did. I wouldn't 'know what to read into it' either. Like, whoa, what is this? What does he think of me? Don't forget, your girlfriend is older than me too; if she's never come across it before, she might feel odd using pet-names in what's sometimes seen as a lovey sort of teenage way.
I'm not saying it's a horrible thing to want to use a pet name, and if she's warming to the idea, no harm in trying, but maybe pick something more personal to her.
There are stereotypes of the big American guy sleazing around picking up young japanese girls and being all 'Hey baaaaby, hows it going Sugarrr~*slurp*" too so maybe ease off the 'you're sweet and pretty' pick-up-line style affections and go for something with a touch more depth and dignity.