[steven]

So I asked about this one-- the word oder would be like:
"watashi ha tokidoki (verb)"

When I asked my wife if she used "tokidoki" she said that she does, but when I followed up with "like when?" she kinda froze and said maybe she uses "tama ni" more often. Then I asked if she would use "tokidoki", how would she use it. She had an example of using it as a like a one word response, like what I mentioned before. She then said she might use it like "watashi ha tokidoki (verb)".

It looks like our opinions on it are very similar, which could be a result of her Japanese rubbing off on me or of my Japanese rubbing off on her... or it could just be that's how it is.

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I may be quick to draw conclusions, but I think that there is a big lesson here for language learners.

1. Your text book isn't the best source for learning (which is hugely ironic and unfortunate... this goes for both English textbooks in Japan and Japanese textbooks that I've seen in America).
a. One reason for this is what I guess I'd call teacher-induced-avoidance-behavior.
b. Another reason for this is induced errors caused by oversimplification of a language. I think it's a stretch to try to fit even the basics of a language in a 200-300 page textbook. You'd have to gloss over quite a bit of material which would rely on the students filling in the blanks, which is obsurd.

2. Just because you use a word in your own language a lot (ie: sometimes) doesn't mean natives of your target language will use the dictionary equivilant of that word as often.
a. This has to do with interference, which in this case would be your mother language (or even second/third languages for mutli-lingual folks) influencing your target langauge.

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As a note for general word order, while there is a "correct" word order in Japanese, it's pretty common to mix things up. You don't have to follow such strict rules, and most Japanese people don't a lot of the time. Different word orders suggest different areas of emphasis.

"明日学校行く”　　　ＯＫ
”学校行く、明日”　　ＯＫ
”明日行く学校”　　　Ｘ
”行く学校明日”　　　Ｘ

I think this is why listening is so important. If you're serious about learning the language, take your time and put in the hours of listening it takes to develop an ear (natural Japanese, not textbook Japanese listening). It's also important study some written Japanese to correct hearing mistakes... but I think a good ear will give you at least basic writing skills.

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I think textbooks are good at producing quick results-- they are great for presenting material that the learners will be tested on. However, in real life when "tests" turn into dealing with the language in everyday situations you have the benefit of not having to worry about what a teacher or text book thinks you should know. Instead you can focus on language that occurs from situation to situation (case-by-case). This kind of learning takes longer to get results but I think it's more "permanant". This way you can take examples from your target language and connect them together to create more output of your target langauge. At least i you make mistakes this way, they will be more "native-like" mistake. This is instead of going to a more "advanced" textbook, which usually still compares your mother language to your target language.