[steven]

I'd like to give my 2 cents here.

In my experience, I've found certain areas of Japanese culture to affect dating. For example, the oldest son gets to keep the house (in the traditional situation, which may occur more often in rural areas). For instance, if there is a house with only girls, and the oldest son of another house meets the oldest girl of another house sure they might date. However, there will be pressure from both families in regards their kid staying at their house (as in keeping the house after the parents die). If, for instance, the younger sister of the oldest daughter of the one house is already married and moved out (which implies her name is changed) then there will be a lot of pressure from that side of the family to A. find a partner who is a younger brother or B. find a partner who isn't obligated to keep their house's name. So if the older brother of the other house's younger brother has married and moved out, then there is a good chance the relationship won't last simply because of logistical reasons.

In regards to sex, dating usually means sex in Japan in my experience. Some people don't have to date to do it either. In Japan the main contraseptive seems to be the condom. Pills seem to have a bad wrap and I've heard doctors in Japan don't give them out as readily in Japan as in America. If people in Japan take the pill, most of the time it is to help their period rather than for birth control (again, in my experience). And as far as sex before marriage goes, of course that's how it goes here. Lately that seems to be the way to get married... any time someone gets married that I know it's either a 出来ちゃった or a suspected 出来ちゃった. I may not have an eloquent way of putting things, but not having sex with someone before you marry them is like not test driving a car or testing out an instrument before you buy it. I feel the same way about living situations... if you don't live with someone for a period of time before you're married you might be in for a terrible surprise (or a wonderful one, depending on the person of course). Marriage should be a commitment for life, especially when you get kids in the picture...

So from my perspective, I think that it is hard for Japanese people to live together before they marry... this is either because living situations are limited (size or law wise) or there is some kind of pressure from the parents (it would be hard for a daughter who lives at home to move out with someone who they aren't married with). On the other hand, these very circumstances make things like love hotels a good idea in Japan (business wise especially). They provide a safe place outside of a limited living area with protection, TV, karaoke, baths, etc.

I'm sure I glossed over a lot, but that's the extremely short version on what I've picked up on.