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Originally Posted by dogsbody70
ah well you seem to think you know all about it.
If you had known the number of adoptees who are desperate to know thir father or mothers-- the agony they go through.
i tis like babies who get left on door steps they do not know who they are or where they come from. There is a need to know where we come from.
You are young I wonder how much you know about this subject.
If people want children there are plenty in the care system needing homes.
You don't have a clue what you are talking about.
Can I ask you if you have parents do you know them?
I grew up without any family at all.
people can be desperate to know why they are the person they are. nature versus nurture etc.
Before you say my comments are B/S an expression I loathe by the way. you need to learn a lot more about human nature. Are you American by any chance?
this is interesting item.
Why children need to know |
Sorry to get involved in a discussion between the two of you, but I have to say I really agree with Suki on this. I also don't understand your comment on her being young, just because she's young doesn't mean that she has no comprehension of the issue being discussed, it's very naive of you to assume that she would be ignorant just because of her youth.
Anyways, I don't think surrogacy is a bad idea (in response to earlier comments), and although some women find it difficult there is a vast ammount who are able to distance themselves and have very little complications or regrets. As someone else mentioned some women who are surrogates feel happy and content able to bring a life into the world, able to give a child to parents who will love and care for it, knowing that they've given a child and its parents a chance to have a family and happiness. I did a search a while back actually in research for a novel, and you'd be suprised at how well surrogate mothers can detach themselves emotionally.
I do agree with you that sometimes its better to adopt than to go to a surrorgate, I really feel for those poor children without homes, but that said your attitude to adoption actually really irks me. You seem to think that adoption is a bad thing, that it's better to be (or at least to know) the biological parents. I'm speaking as person who
is adopted (although it's a complicated matter I'd rather not get into), and as someone who
knows people who are adopted. Yes, sometimes there is a curiousity and a desire to know where you are from, but for the majority your family are the people who raise you and love you and nurture you. My father is the one who put a roof over my head, who disciplined me when I misbehaved, who laughed with me when we shared a good joke - not someone who didn't care about me enough to be in my life and gave me away the first chance he got. Family is
more than genetics. So I say if people want to donate sperm, adopt, foster, use surrogates etc. etc. then good for them! They can give a child a much better home than a lot of these dead-beat parents who couldn't give a crap.
Suki:
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Jeez, I did not know that! Aren't you people against this law?!
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The law isn't retroactive (is that the right word?), so the first child to be able to find out about its sperm donor father won't be for another ten years or so
I kind of have the impression that it won't be until it actually happens that people start to truly think about the effects, because right now it's rather abstract. There was a lot of criticism, from what I vaguely remember, and I can't speak for every Englishman, lol, but personally I think it's good for a child to know where it has came from if it wants to know, so in a way it's a good idea.