[Nyororin]

I think that babies left on doorsteps and babies born via sperm donor are in VERY different categories. It is quite a stretch to lump them in together.

I can understand the desire for an adopted child to want to know where they came from - want to know WHY they were given up, to know if they have siblings, etc.

But with a sperm donor it`s a bit odd to ask "Why did they give up their sperm?" - It isn`t quite the same as giving up a baby. There isn`t a huge sense of loss in ejaculating into a cup.

I think that the desire to know where you came from really has a lot to do with who you are and when you were given up. Different periods in time had different reasons, so for someone given up in, for example, the 40s or 50s may have been removed from a potentially loving home because the mother was unmarried. I think where that sort of possibility is very real there is naturally going to be a strong desire to find out... At the very least to clear up any fantasies.

I grew up raised by my grandparents. My mother ditched me there and basically never came back. If there hadn`t been a convenient place to leave me, there is a fair chance she would have put me up for adoption.

I can`t say whether I would want to search for my real parents if that had been the case - but sometimes it is better not to know. To me, my grandmother was my mother. I consider her that in every way. My mother gave me life and gave birth to me, but that is really about it. When she decided she needed someone to take care of the other kids she`d had in the meantime and took me back - it felt as if I was living in a strangers home... And felt that way until I was able to leave.

Having no one around who you could consider family, who you could count on would likely lead to a lot of stress, and a very strong desire to know your roots. I believe this is true in your case, Dogsbody70. But I believe it is quite different for a child who was either adopted very early into, or born into (via surrogate or sperm/egg donation) a loving and devoted family. Blood related or not, it would indeed be a family. That foundation of family support would be there in a way that would be impossible for one raised in a group home.