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Setsubun (Offline)
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Posts: 3
Join Date: Dec 2010
12-09-2010, 02:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by masaegu View Post
There is very little Japanese-ness in this letter naturally as you translated directly from another language. At the same time, though, I don't see any point in "correcting" it to make it sound like it was written by a Japanese girl.
He would only find that corrected letter funny because he is the one who knows exactly what your Japanese is like at the moment.
Yeah, that's for the most part what I was thinking. I know it's rather right-to-the-point, even for me, but he and I have been together for a while now. He is the one who is always pouring his heart out to me, telling me kind eloquent words, and leaving me completely speechless. I've never been with a person that cared so much about me, and I wish I could tell him. Besides, I want to express how I feel in my own words, not using some phrases I looked up in Making out in Japanese. Being that I did not grow up in Japan, and don't eavesdrop on my female Japanese friends while they're talking to their boyfriends, I have no idea what sort of "Japanese-ness" is used in this sort of situation anyway.

As I said in the original post, I mostly wanted to find out if it was intelligible or not. This is because matters of the heart are something I don't feel confident discussing in my native tongue sometimes, much less my second.

Quote:
Unlike what you appear to think, it isn't even sentence #3 that strikes me, a Japanese-speaker, as "strange". It's your over-use of あなた's and よ's, especially the former.
Yes, I agree. The original used 50% his name and 50% あなた. I just changed them all to あなた for this thread because I don't want to use our real names anywhere. Is あなた an inappropriate pronoun in this situation or was it just my overuse that struck you as strange?

As for よ that's an easy fix. I'll just take them out.
Thank you for your help!
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