[masaegu]

Originally Posted by kvcnext

Thankyou for the info guys. Now, on the next question, I wrote this up. Does it make sense? And if not, why not and how do I correct it?

私は本当に神経質で日本語を話します。日本語の勉強が 趣味です、でも毎日はたらいています。　毎日勉強する のは大変そして私のアクセントがへたです…

Any Japanese would understand everything that you said. It makes perfect sense.

If I had to make changes to make it sound more natural, I would change the following parts:

神経質で　＞　神経質に or better yet 神経質な感じで

If you say 「私は本当に神経質で日本語を話します」 it will look like you are stating the two following facts:
1. You are a really nervous person.
2. You speak Japanese.

This clearly isn't what you would want to say; therefore. I made the change.
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「日本語の勉強が趣味です、でも毎日はたらいています 。」 may be intelligible enough but I don't see how well the でも is connecting the two phrases. You are saying "Studying Japanese is my hobby but I work every day." Do you see the problem?

A more logical sentence would be 「毎日仕事をしているので、日本語の勉強は趣味です。 」.　Notice we use 仕事をする rather than はたらく in these phrases.　
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「毎日勉強するのは大変そして私のアクセントがへたで す」

You cannot say 「大変そして」　unless it's followed immediately by another na-adjective. Either use two sentences or connect them with the continuative form 大変で.　I hate to sound technical but we don't use そして nearly as often as English-speakers use "and".　

「毎日勉強するのは大変です。また、私のアクセントはへたです。」
or
「毎日勉強するのは大変で、私のアクセントはへたです。」