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Originally Posted by RealJames
what you say honestly comes as a surprise to me, it's saddening and I really hope yours is an isolated case, if not at least a minority case.
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It`s not. I`ve lived in Japan more than 10 years, am a member of multiple communities for international couples, and have talked to countless people. We`re the exception, I suppose, as it was only friends who quietly hinted to my husband to ditch the idea... And not all the relatives and co-workers.
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did the criticism continue after the marriage, was it only before and leading up to it? or has it persisted since?
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We haven`t maintained contact with most of them after graduation - some of them quietly cut off the friendship because my husband was choosing to ruin his life and not take their advice. We met a few of them a couple years back, and I assure you they were completely shocked that we were still married - and happily at that.
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part of what shocks me is that japanese people would even voice an opinion like that let alone have it, I practically have to wrestle opinions out of my friends if they are in any way negative
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It isn`t as if they were shouting it on the rooftops. No matter how soft spoken someone is, if they feel a friend is making a seriously detrimental decision - they will quietly tell that friend what they think.
And if you don`t think Japanese can have such strong opinions... Well, I am seeing racism here that isn`t coming from the Japanese side.
You know... I really strongly get the feeling that you`re surrounded by the type who love foreigners (superficially) and the type of foreigner who loves Japanese because they`re Japanese.