Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
It`s not. I`ve lived in Japan more than 10 years, am a member of multiple communities for international couples, and have talked to countless people. We`re the exception, I suppose, as it was only friends who quietly hinted to my husband to ditch the idea... And not all the relatives and co-workers.
We haven`t maintained contact with most of them after graduation - some of them quietly cut off the friendship because my husband was choosing to ruin his life and not take their advice. We met a few of them a couple years back, and I assure you they were completely shocked that we were still married - and happily at that.
It isn`t as if they were shouting it on the rooftops. No matter how soft spoken someone is, if they feel a friend is making a seriously detrimental decision - they will quietly tell that friend what they think.
You know... I really strongly get the feeling that you`re surrounded by the type who love foreigners (superficially) and the type of foreigner who loves Japanese because they`re Japanese.
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lol I also get the feeling that I've been seeing things from one side.
I do have a lot of close friends though, who certainly don't stick around for superficial reasons. I actually try to avoid people who seem interested in hanging around me just because I'm a foreigner, except my students of course...
I was raised in parts of Canada and the Caribbean where most of my friends were not white, I see people for who they really are subconsciously, at least regardless of skin colour or language. I don't love my japanese friends because they are japanese, it's kind of insulting that you'd hint at that, but I understand there are many who are that way and it's not like you know me that well so no offense taken
The married couples I know may have chosen not to talk to me about that aspect of their past, like you said you don't keep in touch with those that behaved that way, I assume neither would they, so post-wedding I think it wouldn't be as much of an issue, kind of like "well it's done, not much you can do now" lol