Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
I`m not necessarily referring to you, but rather to those around you. To those who you are exposed to. There are tons of foreigners out there dating Japanese because, well, they can. The type of Japanese they date tend to be the type who date foreigners because they think it`s cool. It`s a subculture on it`s own, and I think that is what you are seeing. That is what is coloring your image of things. Well, that, some level of honeymoon thinking, and positive racism on your part toward Japanese people.
Japanese people have just as strong of opinions as anyone else. That they don`t and are all nice and kind people at heart is a huge stereotype. Likely it`s what you`ve experienced though as the wall that comes with superficial friendships will make all that invisible.
You just haven`t seen the other side of the wall.
It`s kind of like going to a performance and thinking that all the actors are really like that ... But there is another world behind the stage. The backstage world isn`t bad, but it`s much much different than what is put on the stage for the public world to see...
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I would find it very hard to imagine that anyone who has lived in Japan for more than even 6 months wouldn't have seen the other side of the "wall" you mention.
Perhaps in my trying to point out that Japan is as good a place to live for foreigners as any, I have left out the bad experiences I've had here, and the acidic parts of the culture that I rather not relate to, but I'm very well aware of them though. I've lived in 5 countries and visited many more and have experienced the same "dark side" in all cultures, that's simply humanity, and I think it's important to remove that from one's judgment of Japan. If anything, that people culturally try to avoid showing that dark side to the rest of the world is a lot more than most cultures can say for themselves.
edit:
I could just as easily say that you've spent most of the last 10 years surrounded by the difficulties in this society and haven't had a chance to properly enjoy it's wonderful attributes, or perhaps you miss home and are finding all the things different which you miss from home. Honestly I have no idea, I'd rather not stipulate because I'm not even sure if it's you or your husband that's the Japanese one lol, I assume him, yeah?