Quote:
Originally Posted by MMM
I just had to remind that you are talking mixed as "mixed with Western" when that is minority, for sure.
But then we get to that reverse racism again. "White and Japanese mixed kids are beautiful." "Black kids are good at sports." "Asian kids excel at math."
How many times have I heard "Even though she's half, it's a shame she isn't that cute." More than once, I assure you.
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That's right, and I've heard that kind of thing often too. Though I wonder if it would be so much to cause a family member from having opposing a wedding with a foreigner. Maybe, if it's not too personal, Nyororin can expand a bit on what the grounds were for the complaints towards her husband when he was her fiance. That might shed more light on what it is that Japanese people oppose to in an international (with a westerner) marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
I`m not talking about the "dark side" - I`m talking about the world behind the curtain, not the alley behind the theatre.
Anyone can walk around and see the alley, but there is a level of intimacy and familiarity required to actually go backstage.
I`m not talking about negative things, about racism, etc. Those are the dark side of things and not all that hard to peek around and see. But there is another different world when intimacy is involved.
I don`t believe you`ve made it there yet, but when/if you do you`ll know what I am talking about. I have no doubts MMM does, and there are countless mentions of it on the net.
I am heading out to eat so can`t continue at the moment, but there really are huge differences in what people will talk about, and their levels of honesty depending on intimacy and where you`re judged to be when it comes to that wall.
You might want to read my other posts.  I got a nice laugh from this one. |
I'll check out your other posts for sure, I'm curious about your experiences now.
I'm still not convinced that I haven't experienced this "backstage" though.
I admit it's not what I thought you were talking about the first time, but I think I actually experienced some of it before I cane to Japan with one of my close friends and his family during high school (his parents were 1st generation Japanese-Canadians with very little English ability).
Anyways, I could tell a few stories to portray how I've delved behind the cloak of lies and illusions weaved by the average Japanese person, but I hope my word is enough to convey I'm well aware of it. Those stories are not the kind of thing I like remembering.
At times that performance is nice though, I rely on it to get by without having to give a crap what some random person thinks of me, the formality, and even the dishonest "honest" opinion help me identify what someone really is like. It takes a bit of cunning, or an unfortunate situation, to really break down what someones opinion is of you.
But regardless of that, I still honestly think there are tonnes of Japanese people who from the bottom of their heart have nothing but support and respect for those among their peers who are in an intercultural relationship.
And I do mean aside from those who themselves are willing to try it out. Or outside that subculture you mentioned.
Honestly I don't know how big that subculture really is, the one that likes western foreigners, and how much those outside of it really dislike western foreigners secretly.
It seems to me that the ladder isn't all that big, nor is it that passionate about it's animosity.