View Single Post
(#71 (permalink))
Old
MMM's Avatar
MMM (Offline)
JF Ossan
 
Posts: 12,200
Join Date: Jun 2007
12-13-2010, 08:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by RealJames View Post
You bring up some things I hadn't considered before, it's true there are a lot of unknowns. Would asking these questions constitute opposing the idea? I imagine that someone would have to assume negative answers to their own questions, and enough of them, to actually raise it as a problem towards their friend or family member.
I imagine a lot of those questions really should be answered in person with the parents and family, some of them are very valid questions which would really be a good reason to oppose the marriage depending on how they are answered...
Absolutely. Most mothers and fathers have an image of what their child's wedding will be like. If he or she starts talking about marrying a foreigner, all of a sudden all these concretes turn into sand. How to interact with the families, who pays for what, where the wedding will take place, and about 1000 other textbook givens go up in smoke. Americans, at least, tend to do their own thing, but even in the US a wedding is a family affair. This is at least as true in Japan. In Japan marrying for love is a relatively new concept, so why would you put yourself in a situation where you are going to have difficulties from the beginning? It's like betting on the 25/1 horse rather than the 3/1 horse. In many ways it is a business contract, though us romantic Westerners don't like to think of it that way.
Reply With Quote