[MMM]

Originally Posted by GoNative

As much point as anyone who chooses to have children. The two things need not be mutually exclusive.
You have a very certain view of how to raise children. It's not a view shared by everyone.

Just because my view is not shared by everyone doesn't mean it isn't valid. You are arguing that children don't need parents to grow up fine. I am not disagreeing with that. I am arguing that a child should be raised by her parents, and IDEALLY for the first formative years 24/7 by at least one or both of them. That is all.

This isn't rocket science, it is fundamental biology.

Originally Posted by GoNative

My wife and I are not career driven people, we would never have moved to Japan if that was the case. But we are not quite rich enough yet to be able to live without working and work provides us with more than just money. It gives us something to do, provides challenges and social interaction. Anyway point is work is still very important to us for a number of reasons. Reasons that are important for our own happiness.

When did I say if you both need to work that should be avoided?

If social interaction, challenges (outside of parenthood) and something do do (outside of parenthood) is a priority then that is great. But if a career is more more important than children, then why have children? Having a child is not a death sentence. You can still interact with people, and it provides many challenges and things to do.

Originally Posted by GoNative

My wife took 6 months off work after our daughter was born. After that she went back to work and our daughter spends 5 days a week in day care. Now we were very lucky to get into an excellent facility that only has up to about 8 children. I believe our daughter has benefitted greatly from the time she spends there. The social interaction, the stimulus and the overall learning environment has meant she is very advanced for her age. In almost everything she started to be able to do things months ahead of what books and the internet tell us to expect. She enjoys her time there immensely. There's no crying at all when we drop her off. Anyway overall I believe her time in day care has been nothing but positive for her development. It's been good for her and good for us.

Yes, you are lucky to have found a great facility. If only everyone was so lucky.

I don't want to make this personal, because I have no intention of insulting you, your family and your choices.

That being said, are those 8+ hours a day spent at daycare during a child's formative years best left in the hands of strangers, or the parent? What is the child missing by not being with the parent? What is the parent missing by not being with the child?

A generation ago parents knew their child's first words. Is that still true now?

Originally Posted by GoNative

We still spend a lot of time with our daughter of course. There's the mornings getting her ready, having a shower, getting her dressed and having breakfast. And in the evenings we play with her, have dinner, read her books when putting her to bed. And we spend the weekends with her doing all sorts of things to keep her occupied, stimulated and happy.

Again, I am not going to make this personal. This sounds great.

Originally Posted by GoNative

At day care she is in a fun and stimulating environment and at home she gets all the love she could ever need. If I believed that day care wasn't beneficial for her then we would look at doing things differently. Later this year at least one of us will start working from home on a business we are starting. Even then though we would still look to put her in day care at least a few days a week because we believe it's great for her.

You have my 100% support for creating a situation where you are spending more time at home with your child.

Originally Posted by GoNative

I am in no way convinced that having a parent at home full time is overly beneficial for children. It all depends on the parents. I believe a good day care facility coupled with good parenting can be an excellent environment for children. I don't believe there is only one way to raise successful, loved and happy children. There are many ways that it can be done successfully and in the people I know I see that all the time.

I never said there was one way, but I am just looking at the statistics and the odds. A child can be raised by wolves and end up a Nobel Prize winner, but I think no one would argue that is ideal.

I think it is hard to argue that a child not being with their parents is ideal, unless they are non-functional, drug addicts, etc. If the parents are good people, then the child would benefit by having a stay-home parent rather than spending his or her waking hours raised by strangers. Is this crazy? Sure alternate stimuli and social interaction is important. That doesn't mean the parent isn't there. Stay-at-home does not mean no social interaction.

Please don't see my ideas as an attack on you personally. I am just saying the IDEAL is a parent at home to raise the children, and I have yet to read an argument that counters that.