Quote:
Originally Posted by GoNative
Because there are special moments regardless of how much time you get to spend with your child. So you may not be there for the very first steps they ever take but there will still be the very first time you see them take steps. It's just a s special as far as I'm concerned. And you can still play a major role in helping your child discover the world around them. That they also have other experiences without you I believe is only a good thing. I'm assuming in most of your experience one of the parents do go to work? Do they not miss out on all the things you believe are so important? Why did they become a parent if they didn't give up working and stay at home as well?
|
I understand how moments are special, and since it is practically impossible for both parents to spend 24-7 with a child, some moments cannot be shared. It just seems like to me that for those first words and first steps, it would be nice if at least one of the parents were there to see them, instead of hearing about it from the day care worker.
My personal experience doesn't really matter, I am trying to keep this in a general sense, and not a personal one, as there are as many different experiences as there are people. However, if you would like to know, my mother quit her career as a medical researcher to get me and then my sister to school age. I appreciate it very much, and I don't think I lost anything by being raised by my mother, rather than another person.
Indeed someone in the family has to work, and indeed that means they miss out on things. I have a friend in Osaka who works for Panasonic. He has a young daughter and a wife that stays at home to raise her (they are Japanese natives). With the way the economy is now he works so much he is gone before his daughter wakes up, and comes home after she has already gone to bed, so he really only gets to see her awake on Sundays and maybe an hour or two here and there if he can come home early. This really saddens him, as he is missing out on so many milestones, and just gets to hear about them from his wife. This is a two-way street, as she misses her daddy during the week. Anyway, that's just an example of one family's situation in Japan (just to kind of bring it back a little).
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoNative
Well you do live in a very different community to the one I am familiar with. All of my good friends from Australia (male or female) are tertiary educated, many with PHD's. Most haven't started families until their late 20's to mid 30's and most have successful careers beforehand. Most of the mothers have managed to get 1-2 years maternity leave after having a child and all have returned to work after this time. This really is pretty much normal in Australia and not considered unusual in anyway like it appears to be where you are from. I know one thing for sure in Australia there is no stigma attached to women who don't stay at home. In fact there's almost more of a negative stigma attached to women who do just choose to be housewives.
|
I guess my community and circle of friends is very different. I didn't realize this wasn't more universal in thinking, although I consider myself pretty liberal and live in one of the most liberal and progressive cities in the US. Most of my friends are college educated, and have BAs and BSs, so not quite PhD level. One to two years maternity leave sounds like a dream! I have a friend who is a public school teacher, and she got six months with her two kids. In her situation, she would have lost her job if she didn't come back after six months, and so she had to, but still feels guilty about having to put her now 2-year-old in daycare during the day. At least she gets long breaks and summers off.
I don't think there is a stigma here for women who don't stay at home, as in these financial times it is hard if not impossible for some to do so. However, the mothers I know that don't stay at home wish they could. And the ones that do are really happy they can.
It is interesting that there is a negative stigma toward women who choose to be housewives in Australia. Are these housewives mothers, too? If so, why is being a stay-at-home mom considered a negative?