[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by RealJames

as hard as it may be to believe, my comments about Japanese men come from my experiences with Japanese men, no not romantic, but seeing the way my friends treat their girlfriends and wifes.
and yes also from my girlfriend and her mom, and often from students (without asking for it)

This is where you`re getting mixed up.

That is cultural - not the behavior, so much, but the info being passed around.
You do NOT compliment the people in your family when other people are around. You just don`t. It`s like bragging - something you should never do. This goes for husbands, wives, children, etc. It is smalltalk. Whenever a group gathers, the smalltalk inevitably turns to "My husband is so AWFUL!" - "My wife is terrible!", etc. Combine this with a strong negative view of "henpecked husbands" - and you get women "complaining" about their husbands (as is culturally expected), and men making it clear they`re not "henpecked" (as is culturally expected). And the women playing up the cultural expectation that they`re treated poorly by their husbands. It has nothing to do with chivalry or what the people REALLY think... And has even less to do with what happens in private away from public view. It`s like a big social act, and the participants know what is going on. (And in the case where the act is incredibly different from reality, and this is known, it`s hilarious. Otherwise, you just sort of end up wondering what their home life is really like.)

I am getting the feeling that the reason you said Japanese people don`t smalltalk is because you weren`t catching what is considered smalltalk here.

Oh, and I would hope you know better than to believe anything a girlfriend says about ex-boyfriends or other men. That has nothing to do with Japanese culture at all - the same probably applies the world over. Would you like it if she were praising them to you? Women say bad things about exes because, well, it is in a way praising the current boyfriend.

What you'll get is a whole bunch of white people that are used to being in the majority and then all of a sudden they've become the minority and so to THEM Japan seems racist. To my African American friend, Japanese society is no more racist than American society and according to his experience was a much more pleasurable to be black in at least.

While this may be true, I don`t think it is the explanation for the white-guy-in-Japan syndrome. It`s more a combination of having been raised with the belief that Asian men are chauvinistic, poor partners, and crap in bed... And that Asian women would be so much happier with a white guy.
Then coming to Japan and being complimented - and of course having the girlfriends tell them they`re so much better - just having it reinforce the opinion they already had before coming to Japan. If you`re looking for something to support something you already believe, you`ll find tons of examples... and will disregard those things that do not support it.

But the fact is that most people reading those tips with the intention of coming to Japan for a visit will be seeing it all from the same "western" perspective, no?

Yes and no. They will see what they`re conditioned to see.
For example - if someone visiting just saw the women-only cars... Do you think they`d jump to the conclusion that they exist because "Japanese men are perverts"? They probably won`t unless they`ve already been told this before.
Any innocent action can be painted as something else if someone is told in advance that it carries that meaning. Imagine how it would seem if someone was told that the stuff being said when they entered a shop was "Japanese only!"...

- Thank you for telling me that about the towels!! I swear I'd seen enough guys wiping the backs of their necks in the summertime that I assumed it was fine (it does happen a lot lol)! I will totally stop wiping my neck with it!

It`s impolite, but not a taboo, so you will see guys doing it. It`s still impolite though and is something that should be avoided.

Only if there were a jokes section here. Neither OP nor you seems to know enough about this country, period.

I think that there is a place for this kind of info, and it`s not "joke" level. At the very least, it is a good way to see how Japanese culture and Japan is viewed by someone judging it almost entirely by a western cultural standard.
The issue isn`t the info - it`s the presentation of the judgement by another culture as fact. Japan is being judged through a certain lens, treating the actions of people as if they were raised in the same culture - and interpreting the actions as if they carry the exact same meanings as they would for someone from the judging culture. That is where the issues arise.