[Nyororin]

Not a father, but I`ll offer up my opinions on this.

First, try not to let this change your feelings for your girlfriend. It is not her fault this is happening... Or at least not any more than your own. And in the end, she`ll be getting the short end of the stick - at the very least physically. You`re both in this together, and should be turning to each other for support. No one else is going to be the parent of your child - it`s just the two of you together. It may be tempting to let your frustration with the situation translate into frustration with her, but it`s kind of along the lines of a child lashing out at anything and anyone when something goes wrong. In the end it will only make things worse.

Second - having a child is NOT the end of life and dreams. I can`t comment on family as, well, every family is different. If your parents are going to basically disown you for choosing to take responsibility for your own child (and their grandchild!)... It is their loss. Chances are they`re just very disappointed that this has happened, but will deal with it and potentially be the most devoted grandparents down the line. The news no doubt shocked them, and they are likely panicking just as much as you are.

Life goes on pretty much normally after having a child. Children don`t stop people from fulfilling their dreams. They don`t stop them from going on with life.

I was married when I got pregnant, but had dreams, plans, a life that I was very happy with. I was 23, so not all that incredibly far from you in age.
We`d actually talked about having a baby. We sort of wanted a baby, but weren`t going to really try for one. We sort of mutually decided that if I did get pregnant then we would have the baby.
What do you know - I got pregnant less than a month after having that discussion.

It was horrifying. It honestly felt like nothing could EVER be the same after having a baby in my life. It felt as if my relationship with my husband would completely go down the drain, any dreams I had would end as impossible dreams, and that I would lose everything in life that I had worked for and was happy with.
I`m sure that this isn`t too far off from what you`re feeling.

But we went through with it. There was many a sleepless night where I was crying or worrying so much that I thought I would throw up from the stress.

The baby came early, whole load of complications, etc etc, so spent the first 5 months of life in the hospital. Life didn`t change at all except for daily visits to the hospital.
When discharge came around, it was the whole deal over again. I am pretty sure I spent the whole day before discharge crying. I spent the week before trying to fit in as many of those things I thought I would never be able to do after a baby came along. We went on late night car trips. We went out nearly every day to eat. Anything I could think of that I saw as an impossibility with a child I tearfully pushed myself to do.

But once the baby came home, things didn`t really change all that much. I can`t really think of anything that changed drastically. I think we avoided going to places where people were smoking a lot because, well, it`s not good for a baby and ours had particularly weak lungs.

There is a saying that people kept saying to me here - If you can feed two, you can feed three.
Children aren`t the center of the world. Sure, parents can make them that, but it doesn`t have to be that way. Children can be little add-ons and additions to the life of the parent. This is something I couldn`t imagine until I actually experienced it. I don`t live for my son. He is a part of my life.