Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMisa
Lol, I don't know where you are from... but it's a very safe procedure here. It's extremely rare for any minor complications at all. (Of course, this is going on the basis that you make your choice within correct amount of weeks.)
But anyway, in this country, abortion is a perfectly safe and legal procedure that rarely causes harm to the mother, FYI. If abortions in your country have a DEATH RATE, then wtf - this is no way in the same realms.
Anyway it should be the mothers choice (depending on the stance with the father, she should take his opinion into consideration), mentally it certainly isn't a walk in park.
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Sorry to disagree with you wifey, but abortions in the UK are still dangerous and will have some kind of death rate even if it is tiny. Even the first couple of weeks pill has many side effects and potential complications, any surgical procedure carries all the normal risks, then as it goes on the anaesthetic risks too. It is what we call a safe procedure though, compared to how it used to be, and many other operations.
It is a big decision for her to make to abort, just as it is to have the child, neither is easy or physically or mentally pain free.
I think it is a far less risk than choosing to bring up a child though, and agree often not the best choice to carry to term for a 19yr old at Uni but if she chose to keep we cannot judge her for that.
However we can perhaps judge this girl on how she expects the father to react, and the demands she is putting on him.
He does have a say in if he wants to be a father. If he chose not to be then in my mind for equal rights, he should be able to "abort" it from his point of view. Meaning if he wants to cut all contact (other than law forcing financial ones) and not be put on the birth certificate, then he shouldn't be judged for doing so.
She is the one who chose to keep the child (if she is against abortion on other reasons, she is still choosing to keep it if she doesn't give it up for adoption)
If she alone wants the child then she should be the one who has to deal with everything that bringing up a child involves, including finding a suitable male role model (a grandad and uncle, or a single steady bf) for the child.
OP I don't think you should feel pressured or morally bashed into being the worlds best Dad, or even a Dad at all if you don't want to be a Dad.
She had the choice if she didn't want to be a Mum, so it only stands to reason you can walk away from being a Dad.
I know lots of people will say this makes him a run-away father, and such, but think about it from the other angle. Society gives mothers the choice to not be Mums in many different ways, so shouldn't we think it acceptable for
fathers to chose not to be a Dad?
Of course they can't just keep changing mind and wander in and out of Child's life, it has to be a one off decision and agreement to not be involved at all ever.
Of course if you want contact and want to help with the child, then you also have every right to do that.
Just saying I think you have a choice, and I am sure the law doesn't force you to do more than pay money (I am not sure I agree with that, for the same reasons, but the law is the law)