Quote:
Originally Posted by GoNative
I have mixed feelings on this. Sure I believe it's the mothers right to choose to have the baby or not but if she does so against your wishes does she have the right to expect you stay by her side? Especially considering that both of you were taking precautions not to have a child I don't see why your life should be totally changed because of her selfish desires to have the child.
Regardless of what some have said on here it will change your life dramatically, especially if your family will not be much support. Because obviously neither of you will have much money, you'll need all the support you can get. Personally I'd be taking your families advice and getting out of town. If neither of you were taking precautions against a pregnancy or had been planning a baby then I would wholeheartedly encourage you to man up but this is not the case here.
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Stop saying that the girl's decision is selfish! Do you know what an abortion can mean?! It has the potential result that she became sterile or have other long-term psychical/mental effects.
Besides, he didn't mention the girl forced him to stay with her.
@Salvanas
I'm not a father either and I don't even know you. But as a mother I hope I can give you some tips.
If you are truly committed to take responsibility you should let your parents know it. I mean have you considered marriage? Your parents may not feel that your determination is solid enough, to be honest you really seem to hesitate. And it's natural they place you before your unborn child from a girl they never even met(I'm guessing here but even if they met her, I'm sure they don't know her).
If they think, they can keep you from doing this, they will try it by all means.
My mother-in-law hadn't accept our child (thus neither our relationship) till she saw him with her own eye. I mean although she's a good person, my life was a living hell when I was pregnant and she was around. I think she kind of hoped that I would have miscarriage or we'd break up before the child was born. I couldn't understand how could she act so cruel towards me and her unborn grandchild. Now I know that she only wanted to protect his son and she felt wounded because her advice wasn't asked nor listened. I think your mother might feel the same 'pain' right now: not only that some random girl 'takes' her son away from her, but you 'ruin' your life by putting yourself in this very difficult situation.
If you want to take full responsibility tell them that you do and you will do, and try to make it clear that you're aware of the meaning of it. Cause taking care of the child won't be easy, your parents already know this, they might feel that you don't.
I'm on this 'parents' subject because I think you'll definitely need their help to be able to live a full life. And not only theirs but your gf' parents too. I had classmates in the uni who already had children and they managed to keep up with everything but they all had full support from their relatives and their partners loved them very much.
You have 7-9 month to plane and arrange everything before your child arrives, you both can finish this year easily and surely your parents will come around, they'll understand/accept your decision, if you keep telling them that you love them and you don't want to lose them and you want to take care of your child just like they did take care of you.
I hope I could help some...
I wish you the best!