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Originally Posted by Salvanas
Are there any fathers out there, that have had the same experiences? Or even just some tips, or any help?[/color][/size][/font]
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Hi Salvanas,
I may not be a parent, but I have a few friends who had children as young as you, and there's a couple of practical things i have to add to other posts here.
First things first; It's not the end of the world. It's not what you planned, but it is not necessarily the death knell on everything. Your parents are clearly shocked and upset, but give them time. It's probably hit them out of the blue and they're acting irrationally because of it. Try and remain calm and lay out the situation to them logically. Relocating to London is not going to magically solve your girlfriend's pregnancy or change the fact that your going to be a father. Do they really want a son who ditches on his responsibilities? If they're egging each other on, perhaps try talking to them separately. You sound like you want to do the adult thing, make them realise this. I appreciate this might be difficult if they don't know or like your girlfriend. What about her family though? Are her parents aware, will they be supportive?
Staying in education is probably a more sensible choice than dropping out and trying to find a job right now, given the current hiring prospects. your baby will be around for a long time; you might not be in a situation where you can easily re-apply for university. Your girlfriend will be eligible for child maintenance and other benefits depending on her financial circumstances; YOU won't be required to pay for everything. If the idea of it is stressing you out, talk to someone and figure out what you need to budget; there are family planning clinics that offer free consultations about parenting. Ask your doctor where you might get such information. They can also maybe help you deal with the emotional side of things, as well as practicalities.
Especially go and talk to your university, and hers. You will not be the first students in this situation by a very long shot, and they may have measures to deal with it. This might include things like a sabbatical, changing from a full-time to a part-time course, delaying your graduation for you or if you are very lucky, help finding financial aid. Having a child may put a dent in your plans and require a little shuffling about but it need not de-rail them altogether. My best friend was born whilst her mother was at university, and this was in the 80's. She kept going and graduated. One of my friends switched to an Open University course. She now has her degree and is able to continue working towards her chosen career. Another decided to leave university, but set up a small business instead and is doing perfectly well, and she has twins!
You're still a sensible, logical person; life's thrown you a curveball, but try not to get overwhelmed and focus on what you -can- do rather than what you're worried you can't do, or feel you'll lose. And most of all
get some solid advice from somewhere other than the internet!.