[Sitron]

I'm 24 years old and still an unkissed virgin. Besides this being a humiliating fact for me, I really want to have sex, and besides paying a prostitute which would cost a lot in the long run, the best option is getting a girlfriend and doing it for free.

My only problem is that I'm not attractive, and I have a bloated belly like the poor malnutritioned kids in Africa (I'm not fat, it's because I have an irritable bowel). How can an unattractive guy like me with mediocre social skills get a girl that's at least a 7 (from 1 to 10)?

I can get ugly girls and fat pigs easily, but I want to share my intimate moments with someone I enjoy looking at. And I don't want to be ashamed of being seen with a hideous slob of a girl.