[Ronin4hire]

1. Does your American girlfriend/wife get angry on a whim/out of the blue? (example: You didn't like her new dress and now you have done it! She wants you dead, your friends dead, family dead, in hell, and says your bald and old even though your only 24 years old!)

2. Does your American girlfriend/wife call you dirty? Does she act as if she doesn't want to be with you? (example: You took a shower, got a haircut, sprayed your extremely large American container of axe on yourself, and your still treated as if someone barfed up silver dollar pancakes at Dennys.)

3.Does your American girlfriend/wife work too much OR doesn't work at all? (example: There is no middle road here. Either she has that pioneer spirit to work all day, or she just works quits, work quits and puts the burden on numero uno..you!)

4. Does your American girlfriend/wife not clean up after herself? (example: She eats junk food, uses tissues to blow her nose, and whatever she touches, she just leaves it on the floor FOR YOU TO PICK UP after work!)

5. Does your American girlfriend/wife require 1000 apologies? (example: She went to school, was stung by a bee, and it's your fault! The world now comes to a screeching halt until you apologies again and again again and again.)

6. Is your American girlfriend/wife a little too happy, (seems to speak of marriage a little too easily), and then a second later is incredibly angry and wants you dead....then happy again?

7. Does your American girlfriend/wife always think she's sick and dying? (example: health nut. Reads too many articles online, thinks the fan at night will kill her, the blood from her period is cancer, if you cough at night, she gets angry etc. etc. etc.)

8. Is your American girlfriend/wife loosing hair due to stress? (example: This one could be seasonal, and sometimes it's made up in their minds, but if it does happen, it's certainly the foreigner's different values to blame for this one!)

9. Does your American girlfriend/wife become quiet and sulks in the corner of the room for hours? Days?(example: not needed!)

10. Does your American girlfriend/wife run out side at night (when angry) pretending to never come back, but in reality she's hiding, waiting for you to find her and resolve the issue? (example: When mommies were mad in the Industrial age, they would run to nearby churches at night to consult other women. In present day, they just don't answer their cell phone, and count the seconds it takes you to find them (because it's dangerous at night.)

11. Can your American girlfriend/wife actually eat food with no artificial colors and preservatives? (example: Take her to an Japanese garden market, and see what she DOESN'T buy!)

12. Does your American girlfriend/wife mother live you? (example: Now you live with the mother in law, and it's as if your dating both of them....and I mean that in the worst way possible.)

13. Does your American girlfriend/wife say "we can live in your country for 5 years but then we come back to America." (example: Recent statistics ?citation need? show that the youth don't even have passports and few of them have ever gone beyond the USA. France is full of atheists and socialists right?)

14. Does your American girlfriend/wife treat you differently than a American boyfriend/husband? (example: She creates rules, and ridged structure so you can't have fun just because you're a foreigner! She wants you to be the Prince Charming from a Disney flick, but without the Euro trash...even though you are not American!)

15. Is your American girlfriend/wife indecisive? Does it take her forever to choose something? Or does she buy it without thinking and regrets it? (example: Its Jesus says! He didn't say you can think rationally just to do what he said because you have faith! Therefore after all those years in school, your girlfriend still makes some rather bad decisions due to lack of this crucial skill to think rationally. And this can be a time consuming issue too!)

16. Can you talk rationally to your American girlfriend/wife? (example: you understand English, she understands your language, but without taking out teddy bears, while listening to childrens music, you can't have a heart to heart talk over IMPORTANT issues.)

17. To initiate 'change/fix the problem', YOU have to take things to the extreme (verge of divorce/breakup) with your American girlfriend/wife? (example: Stagnation has trickled down from Americas economy to the roots of your relationship, and you have to go all Pearl Harbour or 9/11 on her butt in order to get a little change! SHE apologies, promises not to act that way again...but...a week/month/year later its back to the same problems... Like I always said you can't write on toilet paper! Oh wait Myth Busters says the Americans figured out a way...It is called the US constitution! <-this was an insensitive comment. I am truly sorry, so do not take it personally fellow readers!)

18. Can you have a political discussion about World War 2/slavery/The Vietnam war/The Iraq war/The Korean war/The gap between rich and poor in the US/The theory of evolution/The US health care system/Americas ignored segregated class/important laws that the government doesn't enforce....with your American girl friend/wife? (example: She doesn't know the facts, she wasn't taught the facts, so you try to discuss these issues and it causes a fight. Remember "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil!")

19. Does your American girlfriend/wife always want to go on vacation somewhere? (example: Hawaii, Guam 1 day-2 weeks -2 months, and She will go even if you can't!)

20. Does your American girlfriend/wife seem a little childish? (example: Cry, hit her feet on the ground, when she can't have it her way..Ohhh to be 7 years old again!)