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Kamikaze: Peace... and Foreshadow - 02-09-2011, 10:26 AM

“Kamikaze, do you swear not to do anything crazy when we get to Asgard?” Suzette suddenly says, her voice shuddering a little.

Her question... Didn't she trust me? Is she afraid of me? She was never fearful when I was in Swiftant.... But at the same time, Swiftant's will pushes the answers out from my mouth.

“I will not Suz. I was told to listen to you and that is what I will do.” I smile.

Will I? Suzette takes her off mine and holds onto Flearin's reins. Maybe... If I was with her more instead, Swiftant would be rubbed out from the picture. Or I could kill him when I get the chance... But wouldn't it be easier if I made sure no one else cou...

"Mmmm... Hmm.... Hm... Mmmhmmmm... mmmmm..."

What was that?

"Hmmm... Mmmm... Mmm..." Suzette hums.

The most melodious song I've ever heard, no, it wasn't the song, it was the sound making it... I rest on Suzette's back, seeping in the vibrations of her voice as she hums. It is louder than my pain, yet, so much more comforting. If I heard the lyrics, surely it would be the first time I could be at peace.

"Could you sing it for me? It sounds lovely," I tell her, surprised that the words come out so freely. Perhaps this, too, is Swiftant's will?

“Sure.” Suzette pauses and goes silent for a while. I can tell her eyes are closed in concentration.

“Long ago and far away, things I often dream of. There is a place for you and I. Staying strong in love’s pure light. Dream away my sweet child, Dream until you dream no more, then one day when you shall dream, you’ll dream some more.”

For the first time, I sleep in peace. Floating away in her aroma, her soft, silky brown hair stroking my face, comforting me. Her lullaby.......

Why should Swiftant have all the fun? My love for Suzette doesn't lose out to his. Am I destined to live in the windows of his eyes, forever looking at something I can't have, something I can't do? The times I can almost taste those lips, but they're not on mine... They've come so close, too close. I'm not satisfied, being an offshoot of him, along with all with the other aspects. We, the seven roots of man, orginally: Wrath, Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Envy Sloth, and himself - Pride; now internalized by Swiftant as: Anger, Coldness, Cunning, Evil, Revenge, Self-reproach and Prejudice.

He should know best none of us can tolerate conforming to authority. We yearn to be ourselves, but by being ourselves we are Swiftant, isn't that paradoxical? It's not that we can't keep up, we don't want to. We have refused and resisted Swiftant from the time of our awakening. It would be less painful if I killed them all and walked a deserted fate, less tormenting than watching how Suzette and Swiftant make out and pour their hearts out to one another, watching the person you love and the person you couldn't be giving into each other, taking from one another. It's an unbearable pain of eternity.


"Kamikaze... Kamikaze... Kamikaze!" Suzette calls me up. Flearin has stopped.

"Your sakkat has fallen off, go grab it, I'll wait here." Strange, it's never fallen off before...

"Thud."

"The string I had on Mother's flute... broke?" Suzette wonders aloud.

The flute Aisha gave Suzette, as well... What on earth happened in Shinkirou? I squint in the direction of the city. These aren't the protocols to a good omen.


There's no such thing as happy endings, for when you find true love, happiness is everlasting.
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