[Nyororin]

I have to say that I agree with the general feel of what Steven is saying.

I don`t really associate with foreigners in Japan. I have one real "foreign" friend, associate regularly with one other... And know a handful but have no real relationships with them. I am a member of a couple foreign wife associations, but that is all passive and requires no real activity on my part. Direct contact with me is usually initiated when somebody needs something translated, or they need someone to go along with them to get an apartment, loan, etc etc. I think it would be a HUGE stretch to call any of those friendships, especially as I charge for the service.

I see no reason to be friends with someone JUST because we both weren`t born in this country. It`s silly, and reeks of elitism. We should be friends because we are "different"! Umm... No thank you. I wouldn`t have associated with you in *insert other country name*, why should I do so here? I think that is what it really comes down to.

It seems to me that to those who seek out other foreigners, not doing the same is "avoiding" other foreigners.

In my opinion, it`s no different than any other friend-making scenario. Those with something in common tend to end up in the same place. For me, simply being "not-Japanese" is not what I would consider something "in common" enough to start a friendship. And in my experience so far, those who do seek out friendships based on that one point are generally not the type of people I would have enough in common with to want to go out of my way to befriend.
There is generally something else driving that seeking, and it has yet to be something I have in common with them. For example - not speaking Japanese, not liking Japan, being an English teacher, wanting to pick up girls, etc.

I`m not so desperate for friendship that I would make an exception just because we`re both not Japanese.
If me having other options because I DO speak the language, do live here permanently, etc, would be considered "elitism" - then toss me in with the "elite". Seriously.

I don`t really give a crap about other foreigners being here. I don`t cringe or direct disgust in their direction should I run into any. I don`t care at all unless they`re doing something I don`t want to be associated with.
None of that is any different to how I feel about anyone I run into. If anything, I am probably one of the most balanced and fair people around when it comes to how I treat / respond to other foreigners. No differently than anyone else.
If not getting a special magical nod or not seeing me down at the local gaijin-bar hangout is me rejecting other foreigners, or having some weird possessiveness of Japan... Wow. Just more justification for not going out of my way to contact them. Obviously they`re not someone I want to waste my precious time on a friendship with.