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Originally Posted by Nyororin
I am under absolutely no obligation to make friends with anyone on here. I can ignore and avoid anyone should I feel the urge. There is no direct interaction, and I can pick and choose from the privacy of my home what to reply to (or not). If there is a question I feel I can answer, or if I`m in the mood to say something - I am free to do that at will. But there is no obligation, and no expectation that I am going to get along with or feel the same as someone else.
A real life friendship is an entirely different thing. I can`t stop in the middle of listening to a friend talk and say "Oh, hey, I don`t feel like listening to you. Bye." (Well, I could, but I doubt that the "friend" status would last for long.)
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Weird, no one said you were under any obligation here or otherwise. And I was not talking about a friendship. I thought we were talking about strangers in general?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
My issue with a lot of the people I encounter in Japan is that they expect to be able to find common ground based on the fact that we`re both in Japan. That, and that alone. To me, that isn`t something that can provide a sufficient foundation for a relationship. And in my experience, those who DO feel that is a sufficient foundation are not the type of people I would associate with. Under any circumstances.
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Sure, I get your issue. You have made that quite clear. All I am saying is, it is a weird stance, given that you are basically alienating people right off the bat with no other information about them. All relationships start somewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
I have, do, and will continue to "turn my nose up" at ANYONE whose sole interest in me is my non-Japanese-ness. This is true regardless of their nationality. Nothing irritates me more than being "used" for some personal fulfillment. I will not be a convenient friend because you are in Japan and want some foreign friends... Nor will I be a convenient friend because you think that English is so cool and want to live abroad.
I`ll smile, take your contact info... And forget the whole experience.
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Quite frankly, we are all being used by someone and using people in return. Just depends on what it is for.
Why so gruff and stand-offish about it all? Why did you approach your husband/wife/gf/bf/significant other/best friend/regular friend/etc? Was there a common interest? Did you like their specific physical look? Their hair color? Their style? Were they into a specific musical act you liked? Did you guys work at the same place? There is a basic commonality that takes place at the start of ALL relationships. But a lot of times they can turn into something more meaningful as well.