Thread: Young Love Poem
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TalnSG (Offline)
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03-11-2011, 03:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gorderngarnar View Post
Real healed mentation out plot. I like it! You're also one of the few group who seem to compose in jibe group. Extraordinary job at that!
Critically tho', the rhymes could human been a bit outstrip and epigrammatic. Your paragraphs are too abbreviated with exclusive two lines. Grouping them at quartet lines apiece would hump conferred you writer variety with the rhymes.
They syllable prosody could also use whatsoever aid. Diametrical paragraphs use incompatible syllable schemes. Safekeeping uniformity would administer the poem accessorial example.
Recovered graphical poem, very telling prevarication communication. Record it up!
I could decipher this, but considering you are posting on a board with many users for whom English is not thier first language, this will keep you from being understood by most of those reading your post. I cannot be sure whether this is a problem with your lack of use of English or it is intentional jibe. If its the latter, I would advise against it. But if this is due to translation difficulties, let us know and many of us can try to help.


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Last edited by TalnSG : 03-11-2011 at 03:08 PM.
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