[Kokugen]

Originally Posted by CoolNard

Wow, that is seriously neat. Almost makes me wanna retract my vote on the Naruto's lover thread... almost* But yeah it was very touching ^_^

Retract your vote trust me the dark side is better (we have cookies) lol, thanx for that you inspired me to rework my plan and next chapter also I will now hunt down and conquer this Naruto pairings thread with NAruSaku~icity.

Originally Posted by AoshiShinomori

That sucks big time! :rofl: Just kidding. I had to say that when you put in constructive criticism welcome

Truth is, that was a fantastic opening! I did have one suggestion (although you've probably already thought of it)

It would be good to have one comical scene in the midst of this pathos (like Naruto saying something and sakura bopping him on the head) and then getting right back into pathos... I'm not very familiar with Naruto development in stories (I've only finished watching about 80 ep until hokkage 3 dies) but I've not seen Naruto in a drawn out serious scene unless its fighting...

Like I said you've probably thought of it already though ... Great going Koku-kun! We'll be expecting more of this thread to be updated soon enough

Ah yes I did plan to have Sakura lightly hitting Naruto in the chest to show that she was so messed up she couldn't even punch properly but I forgot it till I got to them kissing.

And now the lecture/essay about Naruto's deveopment, this is a time fic as I forgot to mention in my first post so this is actually Naruto at the peak of his development so he is the cool, calm, Rokudaime hokage you see at the end of so many NaruSaku fics. I thought that I wouldn't describe anything about him her or the situation in the prologue so I could focus mainly on the relationship. In the first chapter it should deepen in all aspects (Action, Character Design, Relationships, Description and Plot) and make what's happening in the future just a bit clearer, I want to reveal the plot slowly, I usually jump right in so it'll be hard to stop the entire plot being clear in one chapter.

Also you're new (very new) to Naruto if you're up to epiode 80, I'm on Shippuden 7 which is 227 and manga chapter 348 (Which is awesome btw) and there is a lot of development in Naruto and the others the storyline is also a lot clearer (A bit too clear if you ask me, makes me think Kishi is gonna throw in a big as twist soon) anyways the characters have developed a lot more so it could be hard to understand also there will most likely be spoilers in the next chapter big ass freaking spoilers literally shaping the second part of the manga/anime so be prepared.

Lastly expet it to take a while I want this to be a semi~proffesional work so planning is key (lmao fanfiction semi~proffesional) it'll take a while to get them done and they'll be longer (much longer 4000 - 6000 words is what i'm aiming for so it's not too long or short) so posting it up here will be troublesome, I'll probably provisde links to it on Fanfiction.net speaking of which here's the prologue chapter on FF.net, alert or favourite it if you wish:

Current stats on FF.net: 331 views, 4 favourites, 12 alerts w00t!