Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
I definitely agree about the "having people stop by" thing. At the VERY least, call at least an hour before if you`re going to just come to the door, and a day ahead if you expect to be let in.
Houses are private. Ultra-super private. I can count the number of times someone who doesn`t live here has come into my house on my fingers.
People tend to judge people on their homes, and expect to be judged on theirs. So it is very important to be ready for someone to visit. Someone suddenly stopping by and coming in is pretty awful as it gives you no chance to get ready. As most people do not keep their homes in an always-ready state, it is extremely rude to just show up out of the blue.
So... Meeting outside is much much easier. If someone does just show up at my door, they don`t expect to be let in, so I end up going out and talking to them outside the front door. It`s just how things are. Home is a private nest.
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It's surprising how much that changes the dynamic of friendships.
Having to meet at a cafe or restaurant or some other place that invariable costs money or requires for you to be dressed in a way more presentable than you would in your own home, means that your friends see you that way nearly all the time, and not in your comfortable at-home way.
Hanging out has to be planned. With that small added formality, there's a limitation placed on how much you can open up, how quickly, how comfortably, and how often.
I can honestly say that in general the number and quality of friendships the average North American has are far more and far stronger than those of the average Japanese person.
@Nyororin,
Why do you think the home is such an ultra-private place for Japanese people compared to that of other cultures?
It seems to me like the homes of old in Japan were not so much like this as they are today, I'm saying this based on historical tv-shows I see in Japanese TV by the way.
