[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by RealJames

Having to meet at a cafe or restaurant or some other place that invariable costs money or requires for you to be dressed in a way more presentable than you would in your own home, means that your friends see you that way nearly all the time, and not in your comfortable at-home way.

This leads me to wonder how it is that you dress at home that you couldn`t go outside that way...

Meeting outside the home is easier for everyone involved when you consider the amount of effort and planning that is required for having someone in your home. When something is not up to par at home, it`s entirely your responsibility - when out, it isn`t.
In my case, other than when in my pajamas, I don`t really dress down to the point that I couldn`t go out... So I can`t comment on that part. If I`m in my pajamas, I wouldn`t want anyone other than close family around anyway.

I can honestly say that in general the number and quality of friendships the average North American has are far more and far stronger than those of the average Japanese person.

Quality is in the eye of the beholder. You feel that the Japanese style of friendship is not as good as the style you are accustomed to... But would someone who grew up with the Japanese style agree? I`ve heard from Japanese people who have lived abroad that they constantly felt pressured, intruded upon, and that friendship meant less because everyone was an instant "close friend" (ie. didn`t go through proper steps of friendship).

It`s all about what you`re used to and how you perceive things.

@Nyororin,
Why do you think the home is such an ultra-private place for Japanese people compared to that of other cultures?
It seems to me like the homes of old in Japan were not so much like this as they are today, I'm saying this based on historical tv-shows I see in Japanese TV by the way.

What level of "historical" are we talking about?

In the distant past, privacy in itself was something for the upper classes. Privacy meant money. Even in large houses where people came and went regularly, people with money had private areas.

I think that to a point this has carried over to modern homes. There isn`t the space to have split house areas - "private" spaces and "public" spaces... And a totally public space would be really negative as privacy is linked to privilege.

So you have a private retreat, and outside spaces are for public meetings. Being invited into someone`s home (private space) carries a much greater meaning.