Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
This leads me to wonder how it is that you dress at home that you couldn`t go outside that way... 
Meeting outside the home is easier for everyone involved when you consider the amount of effort and planning that is required for having someone in your home. When something is not up to par at home, it`s entirely your responsibility - when out, it isn`t.
In my case, other than when in my pajamas, I don`t really dress down to the point that I couldn`t go out... So I can`t comment on that part. If I`m in my pajamas, I wouldn`t want anyone other than close family around anyway.
Quality is in the eye of the beholder. You feel that the Japanese style of friendship is not as good as the style you are accustomed to... But would someone who grew up with the Japanese style agree? I`ve heard from Japanese people who have lived abroad that they constantly felt pressured, intruded upon, and that friendship meant less because everyone was an instant "close friend" (ie. didn`t go through proper steps of friendship).
It`s all about what you`re used to and how you perceive things.
What level of "historical" are we talking about? 
In the distant past, privacy in itself was something for the upper classes. Privacy meant money. Even in large houses where people came and went regularly, people with money had private areas.
I think that to a point this has carried over to modern homes. There isn`t the space to have split house areas - "private" spaces and "public" spaces... And a totally public space would be really negative as privacy is linked to privilege.
So you have a private retreat, and outside spaces are for public meetings. Being invited into someone`s home (private space) carries a much greater meaning. |
I don't wear a shirt at home... maybe just shorts... usually anyways.
When my friends visited me in Canada, the only preparation I'd do was ... well... hide the "toys" and put on an undershirt if it was one of the girls visiting, or just stay shirtless if it was one of the guys
What I mean is that having to prepare for a visit is a difference.
I can understand that being a burden, if it were the case.
regarding the quality of friendships,
I've had Japanese friends in Canada who, like you said, felt they were close friends with everyone including myself too quickly, like the steps were skipped. To me they weren't close friends, just usual friends.
What i mean is that the things which close friends do in Japan, usual friends do in Canada. The things close friends do in Canada, perhaps only the closest of close friends do in Japan, a connection which many may not ever experience.
The details might just be semantics, but I just mean to generalize that Japanese people tend to spend a lot more of their life alone, or with their spouse/girlfriend or family, than with friends.
Friend-time in the west is a much more significant portion of a person's life, and thinking-time, and priorities.
Do you agree?