Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
To me, this feels like the same kind of thing. He doesn`t want to outright say that he doesn`t want to go. You`ve been kind enough to invite him. You know how he will feel about it (the fear you speak of) and have extended your invitation. To me, it would read as a completely "friendly" exchange. His view: You know he won`t come, but extend the invitation because he is a friend and it would be impolite not to. He replies with a polite response that shows he appreciates the offer, without saying anything offensive about not wanting to go.
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what you fail to understand is that we see it as lack of courage to say the truth to their friend, which in our eyes makes him appear not trust worthy. How can I realy on someone that can't be straight with me in casual situation. That is no friend, that is bs. It has nothing to do with being polite, but having no spine to say anything straight up. And this issue goes very deep in Japanese culture, along with "saying things around" as it is "polite", which creates more problems that you could ever imagine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
Being too direct, even when obvious, can make people sort of "pull away" from you.
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What kind of people are you surrounding yourself with? This is exactly what pisses me off in many people. Learn how to take the truth. You might just appreciate it in a long run.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogsbody70
You know a real close friend is someone that you should be able to be totally honest with.
Someone you can confide in and know it will go no further.
A real friend is priceless--.
The others?
are they worth having?
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there, she has nailed it.