Quote:
Originally Posted by languagehacker
Thanks for all your help.  You can disregard the previous message as I've already uploaded my translation. This was the toughest song I've ever tried to translate.
My translation can be seen here:
YouTube - ‪Shiina Ringo - Tadashii Machi / "The Right Town" (subtitled) 【HD】‬‏
Do you think that you could look at it and tell me what you think? One part that's on my mind is in the beginning when I wrote "uncomfortable smile." I was thinking of writing "unhappy smile" instead. The other thing that I'm thinking about changing is where I wrote, "Little lies strung together filled our days." I think that "Little lies strung together were exchanged for a big lie" might be better. If you have a Youtube account, then it would be nice if you could tell me what you think over where my video is. If not, here is also fine. |
I have read your translation and I really want to commend you for your fine job. It has enabled me to understand the lyrics on a higher level though this may sound strange to you.
Regarding 「不愉快な笑みを」 , either adjective you mentioned would work. The one I had in mind was "displeasing". I agree with you on the big lie part. Another thing I noticed and thought to tell you is that 「人」 is very often used to mean "men" or "women", instead of "people", in song lyrics.
Last thing I want to mention although I can be wrong is about the airport that appears towards the end. Until now, I had always thought it was referring to the airport in Fukuoka. I am almost convinced now that it would be Tokyo. According to Wiki, Shiina goes to England in 1997. I feel it would make more sense if she was talking about going REALLY far away from her right town and right guy.