Quote:
Originally Posted by larryy
Hey everyone!
Haunt been on here in a long time!
I have a small letter/email that I composed to wrote to a Japanese teacher who moved back to Japan. I would appreciate it a lot of someone would be able to correct The mistakea for me 
福山先生へ
こんにちは！お久しぶりですねぇ!
先生とご家族はいかがですか。母国に帰って、先生の生 活はもちろん変わったでしょう。
僕はもう大学に行きたいです。最近、monashとSwinburne大学 のopen dayに行って、二つともいい日本語のプログラムがありま す。もう本当に日本語の勉強を再開したいです！
実は、今でもインターネットで日本語について新しいこ とを調べて、学べます！：）
先生は今、日本で何をしていますか。
2週間前、大阪の高校の一つから、留学生が来ました。� �休み中に日本語が練習できたので、とてもうれしかっ� �です。
オーストラリアに訪問する予定がありますか。
教えてください (^_^)
連絡待っています
ラリー
To miss Fukuyama,
hello! It has been a while!! How are you and your family? Having returned to your home country, your life must have changed hasn't it? I want to go to university already. Recently I went to Monash and Swinburne university open days and both have very good Japanese programs. I want to resume my Japanese studies already! actually, I still research new things about Japanese on the Internet and learn them.
What are you doing in Japan now?
2 weeks ago, exchange students came from an Osaka high school. I was able to Practise Japanese during lunchtime so I was very happy.
Do you have a plan of visiting Australia?
Please tell me 
I'll be waiting for a reply
よろしくお願いします！ |
Have you learned 「敬語（けいご）」? I see some of it, if not a whole lot, used in your letter. Ideally, a letter to a teacher would contain nothing but 「敬語」.
What I am going to do is maintain the same level of politeness that you used in correcting the mistakes even though I am tempted to change many phrases more suitable for a student-to-teacher letter.
お久しぶりですねぇ! > Drop the last small kana. It sounds too conversational with it.
学べます ＞ 学んでいます would sound more natural.
大阪の高校の一つ ＞ 大阪のある高校. This 「ある」 means "one", "a certain", etc. It has nothing to do with the verb 「ある」.
予定がありますか > Why 「が」? Use the other particle.