[Lallyzippo]

Heya.

I'm an American student, a junior, studying abroad in Japan for a year. I also have been in a relationship with a Japanese guy from my school's sister University for over a year now.

Lately, there have been some issues. Mostly due to my own stress.

Thing is, he's currently a senior and job-hunting without much success. This is partially due to his age, because he went to a university before this one. Moreover, his family situation is problematic. His dad is sort of an alcoholic and will come home and verbally abuse their family, especially my boyfriend's mom. He's even kicked her on occasion. My boyfriend keeps pushing his mom to divorce his dad, but they needs the money his job provides.

He wants to move into his own apartment, but needs a job first.

I love him, but sometimes when he is job searching, he may not apply to certain places just because it's not really what he wants. For example, I suggested he look in Sendai because not many people want jobs there now. He said "Uhhh, maybe..." So that means he's not even going to try. He's also said "Well, some of my friends got jobs in Tokyo, so I would feel bad if I couldn't do that too." I realize that he's at a disadvantage in the job-hunting system now, but he's also not trying as hard as he could be.

Moreover, I'm having a hard time adjusting to Japanese life. I think maybe I feel pressure from myself to like it and want to live here; either because I have my boyfriend, or because my major is Japanese Studies. Either way, I wouldn't mind working here for a couple years, but I wouldn't want to live here forever. My boyfriend has said the same thing about America. So, if I stayed with him, and we did long distance again for my senior year while he was (hopefully) working, I would probably have to come back and live here 10ish years, give or take. I'm...not sure yet if I'm up for that.

And we don't share a religion...which doesn't matter to him, but it matters more to me.

We've agreed to stay together until the Christmas break (which for me is like, three months). Then, during my time back home (my folks aren't supportive of this relationship very much ><), we'll think about what we want in the future. Then the next semester, we'll decide on being friends, or a couple again.

I just...don't know who to talk to about it. It's a decision I have to make, but it sucks. He's the sweetest man I've known, and he's treated me so well. He always let's me know he loves me, and is gentle to animals. He's kind, and even though we don't always share the same sense of humor, he's relaxing to be with. At first I was worried he would hurt himself if I broke up with him, but he has been very mature about my plan to think about our personal futures over Winter Break. I really love this guy, and I don't want to break up with him, but if I look at the future...I'm not sure.

What are your opinions about the situation? If you've been in a relationship that lasted or ended, I would definitely love to hear!