Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
One of the biggest problems I have with saying you want to be with a specific nationality is that it puts too much weight on something that cannot possibly support a relationship alone.
Japanese people are people... Who just happen to be Japanese. The same variety is there, just with "Japanese" in place of whatever other nationality.
Way too many people look at "Japanese" as if it is going to have a huge effect on all those other traits that people normally look at in a love interest. "If he/she is Japanese, they will have these traits that I want!" sort of thing. It is stereotyping and leads to a lot of bad endings to relationships. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have seen or heard about people who wanted to date someone Japanese, so jumped at the first chance they got... Only to find out that the image they had formed of a Japanese man or woman was absolutely nothing like the individual they were dating. And sometimes this realization came too late after they jumped to get married or had a baby.
It really shouldn't be given any more weight than hair or eye color, really. No one would dream of thinking that every girl with green eyes is going to be devoted and submissive... Nor that every guy with blonde hair is going to be a great outdoorsman, etc. It is just as silly as thinking that every Japanese person is going to adhere to some stereotypical view that has been formed based on whatever is the popular image at the time in the west.
The only thing that you can be pretty safe assuming about someone Japanese is that their natural hair color is most likely black, and their natural eye color brown.
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There was a girl I read on here who lives in Japan now who wrote:
"That pretty much started my dream to go to Japan - It seemed like somewhere that I could be me and find happiness."
Now if this girl who lived in another country dreamed of going to Japan so she could be herself in a country that is 99.9% Japanese and find happiness why is it such a shock that another girl in another country feels that she has a natural affinity to a specific culture like the Japanese culture?
Also, in America the divorce rate is near 50%. People have ideas on what a relationship is going to be and for whatever reason it doesn't work out. It might be different cultural ideas in some cases like those you listed but in America where most likely both are Americans it's going to be a different reason.
The point is there is always a reason but that in itself is not enough to form an all-encompassing argument as to why someone cannot feel a natural inclination towards a specific culture and country and want to immerse themselves in it including a relationship with one of it's occupants.