Opinions Needed on Manga Project
 

I am confused, is Miyuki Nakata a real person or a fictional character?

Maybe you didn't see my question in the other thread, but where did you live in Osaka? I lived just outside of Osaka for a few years and spent a lot of time there.

Seems like a lot of work being put in for an amateur production. Props to you for your dedication.

The story is really cliché so far; you need a hook, something that sets you aside from the millions of other "childhood friend" and "overcoming the adversity of being an outsider" stories out there.

Also, you ask if I would buy or want to read based on the cover art alone? Absolutely not. It looks like it was done by a middle schooler who just got a pirated version of photoshop. The Japanese type logo is fairly decent, but red, white, and black are inadvisable for such an important design element.

Speaking of design, there is none. You better fire that "graphic designer" of yours. A black/white gradient for the background and a severed, poorly colored, and double-stroked head? Are you serious? Shoot him/her, just do it now. Also, what's up with that chinese takeout-style font up top? Readability is almost zero, and it has nothing to do with Japan. It's in poor taste and was not put there by a designer.

Is this a decent representation of the art style? Because if the characters all look like that, then I won't get past the first page. My advice is to stick with the "stick out from the crowd" theme. Drop the spikey hair and emo, downtrodden expression. Make a person who looks like a person, someone the readers can relate to on some level. Maybe even use a real person as a model (have you done life drawing before?), that could give you an edge if you just straddle that line between realism and anime. I know in the past anime/manga/movies have appealed to me when they're realistic for most of it and then have little twinges of anime that make you laugh or smile.

Needs a looooooooot of work. I would say hold off on all the merchandise because you're very far from that point yet; you need to have a fan base who's willing to give you their money, first. Having merch ready when you launch is in poor taste and sales will be stunted for a while because of it. Try instead creating merch as you get demand for it. Even a few emails. And then you can use an opportunity to advertise it when it comes out, and all the readers who have been thinking about wanting a shirt or something but didn't say anything will jump on it.

Interesting reply, GTJ, and I agree with everything you said. Since you mentioned it.

1) I think the cart is being put before the horse. You are merchandising a product that doesn't exist. To answer your original question, no I probably wouldn't be interested in this title, but that's mostly because I like seinen manga, so the plot does not appeal to me.

2) I agree with GTJ the art style screams "OEL manga". I think your graphic designer is Kimiko, but I am reading conflicting accounts of whether she is in Tokyo or in San Francisco. This does not look like a cover done by a Japanese person. However, looking closer it says the book is by someone names Nancy Meas. I thought Miyuki Nakata was the creator. Please explain.

3) You say you are fluent in Japanese and read manga and books in Japanese, not in English (you made that very clear) but the Japanese version of your website is full of mistakes.

ホムページ ケレータプロファイル ガッレルユ ストルユ ボアルド チャプテル クオミクストリプ ショプ エヴェント アボート クオンタクト

I bolded the words that are written incorrectly.

Now do you want to tell us what is really going on?

Lemme throw something else in there:

Yes, you can use the key commands that will type © and ®, but do you know what they mean? Did you really pay out the insane amounts of cash to get copywritten ("copyrighted"? "copywrote"?) and trademarked?

I know it's irrelevant but ..

is it me or the main character looks a lot like Uchiha Madara from naruto


and good luck with your project ^_^

To be honest, I hate those covers. They absolutely ~scream~ "cheap Ameri-manga trying too hard". Also, you're trying to sell what boils down to an autobiography. As far as I feel as a consumer, I'm only going to buy the life story of someone if a) I've actually heard of them before (which in this case, I haven't) and b) If I haven't, and I'm paying, there's something truly outstanding about their life. "My Sister's Keeper", for example.

With all respect to you, because I can see it's a lot of work and takes a lot of courage to launch something like this, I think I've seen this exact sort of story before, many times. What's more i've seen it for free with better presentation. There is absolutely no way i'd put money on this product.

In another respect, it just doesn't appeal to me personally. As a character you say is 22, that image on the cover just isn't believable to me (I'm 22). 'Ninjababeez?" "Ninjaness"; they sound like names for Bratz dolls. I'm not interested in that. If i'm going to read about a 22 year old, in a 'real-life' story, i want to see something actually approaching the real-life of a 22-year-old, not adventures in pre-teen cartoons (which i realize is a bizarre thing to have to say, considering this is supposed to be an auto-biography).
What I mean to say is, books for 13 year olds star 13 year olds, and books for post-grads star people 22-30. This almost feels like a book for young teens with an over-aged character in it.

I didn't finish the blurb because I lost interest with all your little copy-marks and the vagueness of the blurb. It feels like a sell; a frame to pitch merchandise from and that's hugely off-putting. It isn't even polished enough to pretend it isn't a sell! Some of the most popular anime around are exactly that; props to advertise the merch, but it's so well done most people don't mind.

Finally, you say that "It's suppose to be unique in its own way as well as the art style format, etc." but that's only well and good if it doesn't look naff. Also, manga fans don't necessarily have degrees in art appreciation. We buy manga if it looks pretty, not because it's art for arts sake. Cubism is wonderful in it's rightful place, but it would make Sailor Moon look pretty unappealing. I'm glad that you're being supported so well by a network, but don't be blinkered by them either. They're not the people who will be buying. That will be the general public, and we WILL categorize, and compare, whatever the 'artists' think. Moreover, There are only so many degrees you can step away from mainstream Japanese manga style before it stops being manga. You're still there, which is good, if that's how you want to brand, but it's clearly not Japanese, and it won't convince many people otherwise.

I hope, despite all i've said, that you get some success with your efforts. I think you've been wise to ask for comments and criticisms pre-release, and to take what's been said so far with such aplomb. Good luck, and even if it doesn't work as a strict biography, there's no reason why it can't simply be a story inspired by your own experiences. Play with it more; you're lucky to have the backing to get you there, all you really need now is the book to let them take off with.:ywave:

You want criticism but nothing should question your work, motivations, or themes? Wrong ideas, I'm thinking.

Do you have any links to your collections prints? It would help get a feel for what you are doing?

I saw all these on the websites. I thought you had other artwork available to see.

Alrighty, here we go:

No you aren't. "Full-time" means you do it for at least 40 hours a week, and support yourself solely from the money you earn doing that job. Judging by the rest of this thread, and the work you have shown us, this is not the case. My advice is to not advertise as something you aren't. In the professional world, it's good to talk yourself up a little, but you have to be modest or people will resent you and look for ways to tear you down off your high horse. Just be careful.

Again, you say "Animation Studios", but I doubt sincerely that such a studio exists. Actually, it says "studioS", plural, meaning there is a collection of professional studios. I've ran several searches online and have found no such company, studio, or professional group by that name.

You're asking for opinions. You're going to get them. JF is a very welcoming community, but it is also home to adults and matured individuals who will offer sincere advice and feedback (some of us are or have been professional designers, artists, illustrators, etc, including myself). I'll get to this later.

Also, to be fair, guys, she's saying it's "based" on her live and experiences, so it's probably not exactly biographical.

"Pick up" means "buy", so when you say , what do you think you mean?

Meaning what? You haven't finished downloading and cracking them yet?

You asked, we provided. And, as evidenced below, you acted like a baby about it:

I do not think that word means what you think it means. Because you are being rude.

What? No you aren't! If you were already "aware" of everything I took a while to think of and type for you, then I wouldn't have had to type it in the first place and your manga would be a more respectable piece of work.

Translates as, "I don't care if you don't like it! My friends and family like it! So nyeah!!". Appreciate art for art... so I'm assuming your "network" is several teenagers like yourself who say they love art but only get to museums once every decade or so? Not many people at your age range appreciate "art for art's sake", and your manga certainly is not "art for art's sake". Again, I do not think that means what you think it means.

lol, okay, so stop taking it personally. Everything is up for debate, you say? I just debated it and you brushed off the advice of a seasoned professional. Not smart, my friend, not smart.

Columbine, you wrote a marvelous post, one which I applaud. Your insight is fantastic and your advice is solid as a rock. Yet, unfortunately, this is where the OP starts acting like a baby...

Yes you did. See above.

Bawww.... So don't ask for advice!

"I was fishing for compliments but all I got was constructive criticism so screw you guys I'm gonna go do what I wanna do anyway!"

All the same to you? Then you'd better get on that and figure out the differences, kid, cuz they are VASTLY dissimilar. "Art appreciation", eh?

Nobody said they weren't yours or you shouldn't be proud of them. We're trying to help you make them better. Apparently you only wanted us to sing your praises and tell you how awesome you are. In the real world? Not gonna happen. If you want that go to your mom, she'll always provide that kind of support. Professionals don't, and people on the internet CERTAINLY don't. JF is a much safer place than any other forum I've come across, but you need to learn to take criticism if you want to be anything more than just a kid who draws little animoo and mango pictures.

"Collection prints"? What does that even mean? It's just three or four poorly drawn and Photoshopped images you took into a free merchandise-creation store on the internet and slapped onto every conceivable piece of merch you could. I did that, too, when I was like 14. Except when I did it, it was a variety of fun and interesting images. But this isn't about me, it's all about you, as you've made clear.

No, you really aren't.

What a hypocritical statement. Nobody's insulting your work, you buffoon. We're giving you really good criticism and advice on how to improve. Obviously you don't want to improve, you just want people to tell you how great you are because you have a sneaking suspicion that you're stuff is not up to snuff, and you don't think you have what it takes to improve, so you want justification that how you are now is good enough to make it. Guess what?

It shouldn't be there. They're just logos and characters in the same pose over and over, hastily colored in Photoshop. You should be putting still lifes and life drawings, composition studies, color models, and so forth in there.

Stick with your local high school.

Nooooooo!!!


Wow, so now it's degraded into attacks. In Japanese. What? There's a million better things to say, instead of just words you learned from anime. How about "バカ野郎", "くそ馬鹿", or some others? I can think of about ten different ways to insult someone off the top of my head, can you? I checked out your "script" for your manga, and I have to say that another thing that needs some work, is your Japanese.

So... I think that should just about wrap it up.

*holds up a marshmallow-festooned branch to GTJ's post*

Yanno, someone has to say it. I ain't about to sit around and spend my precious time offering well thought-out advice only to be treated like that. I started out giving constructive criticism and support, but my face was spat in. Now normally I wouldn't care, but she did it to several other people, including Columbine and MMM, whom I like, so... there you have it. :cool:

Can I get some of those marshmallows? :D

That post was godlike *bows* JF is very welcoming, just don't be an idiot -_-

And even so, most mangakas who present their work, need to constantly modify it in order to "fit" the companies especifications. ( commercial especifications, moe, fanservice, and such. You get what i mean. )

Like those popular-commercial names such as Naruto, Bleach, FMA, One Piece (all the "top" commercialized ones) they were not totally meant to be like that. You can find the original version of those animes somewhere if you look for it.



Jeez :eek:

*applauds*

Well quite. I think someone told me the manga-ka of 'Marmalade boy' ended up switching around the genders and changing the personalities of ALL her main characters from her original plan. And re-writing the ending as well.

I won't say much, especially in detail, since I think everything I'd say has already been said quite well. What I will say is that I couldn't even get past the cover art to read about the manga because I was already so terribly bored. I could say a ton of things on the art alone. It needs so much work that I couldn't bare to proceed on to readying the rest of the post. However, I finally did go back to your original post and after several attempts got through the whole thing. I also looked at all the links you posted. So to answer your questions in order, no and no.

Learn to take constructive criticism. If you can't then don't ask for honest opinions and stick with your family and close friends, as they will most likely always give you the feedback you're really looking for. If you truly love writing and drawing then keep at it. Those two areas of interest require a lot of editing and willingness to change in order to succeed. If you aren't open to edit and change then don't expect to get far as a serious career with it.

A quick note, not every scribble on paper is art worthy of appreciation. If it were then everyone would be an artist. You can always tell by looking at a drawing how much a person really put in to it, whether it's an abstract of a still life drawing. I don't see much put in to your drawings or writings based on what you've shown us, therefore I see nothing to appreciate.

Oh, and I am an artist. I have my B.A. and I've been writing for a very long time and am working on writing as a career so I do have some qualifications to make the statements that I've made.

Then five posts and two hours later...

If comments by a couple anonymous strangers on the Internet are enough to get you to quit, then probably quitting is not a bad idea because the project was probably doomed from the start.

If you don't want honest answers, then stop asking the questions.