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SukidayoBaka 05-07-2008 06:09 PM

Help with english homework?
 
Hi! Im new here and so this is my first post (:vsign: :ywave: ) and i wonder if someone who has neat english skills could maybe read through my text and tell me if there are any spelling errors or I don't know..
Pretty please with cheese? (^-^)''


____________________


Do we know it all or is the one who always doubt, right?


I would like to think that no, we do not know everything nor will we ever know. We can ‘assume’ and ‘calculate’ different facts however we can never be 100 percent sure of that what we see is the ‘real deal’, the absolute truth.

Throughout history there has been mistakes made, assumptions which later proved to be incorrect. For example; only a couple of hundred years ago, we thought that earth was just as flat as a pancake which now we know is in fact not flat, it’s round (or sort of egg shaped).

On the other hand by saying this I don’t mean that the one that doubts is always right either, he might get a better view of the situation seeing as he is open for other suggestions which the one who believes he knows is not, but he who doubts cannot prove that the one that believes is wrong. As long as he is not Messiah, he cannot possibly know the answers to our world‘s mysteries.

All we can be sure of is that we are ourselves and in some kind of reality, we exist. We like what we like, we control our emotions and we are what we make ourselves into. Other things like; if the people around us exist or are simply objects our mind has created are things we cannot find out about if we don’t manage to cross the wall between our reality and the real reality

TalnSG 05-07-2008 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SukidayoBaka (Post 483562)
Hi! Im new here and so this is my first post (:vsign: :ywave: ) and i wonder if someone who has neat english skills could maybe read through my text and tell me if there are any spelling errors or I don't know..
Pretty please with cheese? (^-^)''

____________________


Do we know it all or is the one who always doubts, right?

I would like to think that no, we do not know everything nor will we ever know. We can assume and calculate different facts, however we can never be 100 percent sure of that what we see is the ‘real deal’, the absolute truth.

Throughout history there has have been mistakes made, assumptions which later proved to be incorrect. For example; only a couple of hundred years ago, we thought that earth was just as flat as a pancake. which Now we know it is in fact not flat, it’s round (or sort of egg shaped).

On the other hand, by saying this I don’t mean that the one that doubts is always right either,. He might get a better view of the situation seeing as he is open for other suggestions which the one who believes he knows is not, but he who doubts cannot prove that the one that believes is wrong. As long as he is not Messiah, he cannot possibly know the answers to our world‘s mysteries.

All we can be sure of is that we are ourselves and in some kind of reality, we exist. We like what we like, we control our emotions and we are what we make ourselves into. Other things like;such as if the people around us exist or are simply objects our mind has created, are things we cannot find out about if we don’t manage to cross the wall between our reality and the real reality

Here's my first pass at it. The red are corrections or additions, that which is grayed-out should be removed.

SukidayoBaka 05-07-2008 06:38 PM

Thank you so much for helping me :rheart:

d34thp0odle 05-07-2008 06:42 PM

so far i agree with his corrections
didnt do it myself so fast cuz my parents wanted me to eat ^^
well anyways ..
i dont really get the first sentence
or rather .. i dont see the correctness ._.
how about something like this:

- I would like to think that, but no, we do not know everything nor will we ever know/do so. ( i would let the know/do so be there)

- I'd love to say we do, but in fact(,) we can never know if we're right.

.. or something

Nathan 05-07-2008 06:57 PM

This last line is bugging me
"Other things like;such as if the people around us exist or are simply objects our mind has created, are things we cannot find out about if we don’t manage to cross the wall between our reality and the real reality"

Its just seems wordy to me.

I don't know if its any better, but I would word it more like this:

"The idea of people around us truly existing or being figments of our imagination is one that cannot be proven if we do not cross the wall dividing reality and perceived reality."

TalnSG 05-07-2008 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nathan (Post 483597)
This last line is bugging me
"Other things like;such as if the people around us exist or are simply objects our mind has created, are things we cannot find out about if we don’t manage to cross the wall between our reality and the real reality"

Its just seems wordy to me.

I don't know if its any better, but I would word it more like this:

"The idea of people around us truly existing or being figments of our imagination is one that cannot be proven if we do not cross the wall dividing reality and perceived reality."

Nathan is right. Its not good writing and definitely verbose. I left it and some of the others alone because I did not want to change the writer's style, only correct mistakes or ill used grammar.

d34thp0odle 05-07-2008 07:01 PM

good sentence i'd take that =P
but be sure not to forget the "such as" part ...
.. well you can let it out but then its not an example anymore ..^^

Jaydelart 05-07-2008 08:01 PM

Using the same system as TalnSG. Here is my version:
Quote:

Originally Posted by SukidayoBaka (Post 483562)

____________________


Do we know it all or are the ones who always doubt, right?


I believe we do not know everything. Nor, do I believe, will we will ever know. We can make assumptions and calculate different facts; however, we can never be 100 percent sure of that what we see is the ‘real deal’; the absolute truth.

Throughout history, we have made many mistakes made; assumptions, which, later, have been proved to be incorrect. For example: Only a couple of hundred years ago, we thought the Earth was just as flat as a pancake, which, we now know, it is in fact not flat,. It’s round; an oblate spheroid.

On the other hand, by saying this, I don’t mean that the one that doubts is always right either. He might get a better view of the situation, seeing as he is open for other suggestions, which the one who believes he knows is not. However, he who doubts cannot prove that the one that believes is wrong. As long as he is not the Messiah, he cannot possibly know the answers to our world‘s mysteries.

All we can be sure of is that we are ourselves and, in some kind of reality, we exist. We like what we like, we control our emotions, and we are what we make ourselves into. Other things like; "Do the people around us exist or are they simply objects our mind has created?"... Are the kinds of questions we cannot find out about if we don’t manage to cross the wall between our reality and the real reality.

That last paragraph was decent in the beginning, but sort of got messy in the end. It was difficult to salvage.

Overall, your writing wasn't bad. It just needed a little restructuring.
I tried hard not to rewrite it, but you'll find I couldn't help myself in some areas.
There are still some corrections to be made, however. I'll leave them to you.

There is a risk you could get caught if you copy some of my corrections directly, so I suggest you try and take them simply as examples, and make your own.

Good luck.

d34thp0odle 05-07-2008 08:08 PM

yeah right but you actually changed the text
you should correct it ..
what was wrong about the headline for example ?
it can stay as it is ..
it's probably not of any meaning in your opininon but the writers intentions let the sentences sound in a special way .. you could call this "style" just as Taln did .. it lets the reader know what opinion you have .. and stuff .. if you doubt something
(well whatever)
you wrote a nice text tho .. =P how about next time using 2 colors red and blue or something ^^ ?

=o crush me if you think im wrong .. (even if you have no wwords .. im interested what u think of what i just wrote since i suxx at languages)

Jaydelart 05-07-2008 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d34thp0odle (Post 483667)
yeah right but you actually changed the text
you should correct it ..
what was wrong about the headline for example ?
it can stay as it is ..
it's probably not of any meaning in your opininon but the writers intentions let the sentences sound in a special way .. you could call this "style" just as Taln did .. it lets the reader know what opinion you have .. and stuff .. if you doubt something
(well whatever)
you wrote a nice text tho .. =P how about next time using 2 colors red and blue or something ^^ ?

=o crush me if you think im wrong .. (even if you have no wwords .. im interested what u think of what i just wrote since i suxx at languages)

I'm aware of the way Taln corrected it. This is my way.
Showing that there is more than one way of interpreting it, only clarifies the fact that SukidayoBaka should not rely entirely on us.

I admit, I replaced some of the writer's style with my own, but I also made the general corrections that were requested. I simply took it a few steps further.


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