Host student family wants to pay for us to go to Japan!?!
 

Hey everyone

We had a host student stay with us for 3 weeks back in 2007. The other day I got an email asking my sister and myself to go and visit them in Kyushu, however the student's parents were prepared to pay the airfare (from Australia for both of us).

Of course, we are extremely reluctant to accept because we do not expect her parents to foot the bill for our little holiday in Japan. Does anyone know if it is common for Japanese people to make similar sorts of requests (even if they cannot/can afford it) and what would be the best way to tell them we do not want them to pay for us without offending them.

Don't get me wrong I would love to go and I'm really grateful that they have offered, but like I said we can't expect them to pay for us.

Cheers

As far as I know, it would probably be rude to deny the gift solely on the basis of 'we can't accept your money.' Do you know whether or not they can afford it?

Her father owns quite a large supermarket/department store. So yes they probably can afford it.

I agree with Tangram, go for it dude, enjoy!

Rather than accept for them to pay for everything, just suggest you paying for the flight, and them taking you in just like you did for their child!

I agree with noodle. You could do it that way.

ya sure and i agree with all of you other people :vsign:

It's only for about a week though. And to be honest if we had to pay for the airfares we would rather spend a month or so in Japan with my parents as well.

Being a Japanese daddy myself, I can pretty much relate to this father. If he said it, he meant it. He wouldn't have said it in the first place if he couldn't afford it or didn't really mean it literally. I'll be honest. I know you were very much surprised to hear the offer, but it doesn't surprise me at all. I'd probably do the same if I were in his position. Try to think of it as a Japanese style of hospitality.

Now, I understand how you feel about accepting it, but I think you will disappoint this family deeply if you decline quickly. So email again to tell them how you feel honestly and humbly ask if it would be really OK for you to accept the offer. I'm sure he'll reply saying "Don't worry about anything.".

I heard that Japanese hospitality is very how should I say... terse: to the point. If they say they will pay for you then they will pay for everything. Let them repay your kindness. Relax yourself.

When I stayed with my host family they spent countless amounts of money on me... If they said it, they meant it and I think it's a really kind and generous offer.

And for them to see you arrive in Japan on their yen would probably make them feel really good tbh :vsign:

and to add to that, turning down their offer would really hurt them.

Wow thanks for the insight. I have emailed her back and have asked if she would mind giving us a little bit more information first, but I think we are going to say yes.

It should be interesting trying to sort this out as neither myself or my sister are fluent in Japanese, though no doubt she knows more English than the Japanese we know.

All the other replies so far gave pretty good insight - if they offered it then they meant it. To answer your other question, offering to pay a host family's airfair is not common. This is both a sign of their ability to pay, and their sincere desire to have you visit.

Personally I'd feel some obligation if I took up an offer like this, at the least to be a pleasant guest. Do think it over, either way how you respond is more important than your decision.

Listen to Nagoyankee. Accept the offer and bring a very nice gift from home. This is a very generous offer, and I understand your reluctance...but it is very much heart-felt and genuine, I am sure.

Well it looks like we are going!!! I just got back a reply email to the questions i asked them about a couple of hours ago and they had already organized everything (dates etc) and even talked to the sister in Tokyo to meet us at Narita. Not that that is a bad thing! Talk about a crazy day for us. We just can't believe it and we do not really know how to express our thanks enough. And I don't know if I mentioned this but this is all happening next month so it seems a bit sureal - sorry I'm a little excited!

Thanks for everyone's comments and help on the matter.

Cheers again

if you dont wanna go, tell them to pay my expenses I will we go with no trouble xD
I would love to visit Japan

WOW. That's so nice of you to say, isisbathory. LOL.

Hope you have a blast in japan、　おれも行きたい! I spend allot of time with some off the Japanese exchange students at my University and my closest friends among them have already offered me to stay at their places when i go there, I'm gonna pay my own ticket tho =)

They also mentioned this kind of gestures, you don't say anything without the intention off staying true to your words.

btw: I'd bring some local craftsman ship and or some food specialty ;p

I also hope that you have a good time in Japan. Eat lots of sushi for me! LOL!!