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-   -   Do you have any friends? (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/general-discussion/25984-do-you-have-any-friends.html)

Sitron 06-21-2009 07:57 PM

Do you have any friends?
 
I am a loner, and have been for a few years. I don't have a single friend. Not a single one to be with. When I'm at work it's okay because I don't feel like socializing. But I don't know what to do on weekends, and I don't know how to keep myself from jumping out the window during the lonely holidays.

How do you loners manage to get through days and weeks and months without being with friends? Don't you feel the loneliness keeps you from having goals, and aspirations?

Yuusuke 06-21-2009 07:58 PM

I suggest you start making friends...

Ryzorian 06-21-2009 08:04 PM

Hmmm, this is a difficult subject. While I only have a small circle of friends and family I wouldn't consider myself a loner.

Why do you consider yourself such? What is it about groups or social interactiveness that turns you off? Do you find it hard to be yourself in a group setting, or are you nervous about how other will percieve you? What is it you look for in a friendship?

Being alone isn't always a choice, being lonely is.

SakuraSan 06-21-2009 08:21 PM

you can still be alone in a crowd. It's up to you to try and make friends. I'm like you aswell, but sometimes I prefer it, because the only people I have ever trusted have been total bastards to me XD

Quailboy 06-21-2009 08:33 PM

Shyness can kill friendships, I suggest you just just start being more spontanious, going to social gatherings, just a simple hello can make people interested, I used to be a loner, I started off with one friend a few years ago and now I have quite a few of them ^_^

Rinshikame 06-21-2009 08:34 PM

For my mind you can be lonely even with a lot of friends... But mb it's better for you to find any hobby and to try to look for friends in that group?

Quailboy 06-21-2009 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight (Post 736769)
That's right, "everybody's friend, nobody's friend". It is better to have at least one good and true friend, than many casual friends. That's why I probably left many of my school mates.

This is extremely true, sometimes your casual friends can screw you over and not be completely trusted...some can though.

Quailboy 06-21-2009 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight (Post 736775)
The fact is that casual friends are good just to a silly chat or something like that.

They can't give you true friendship, but a true friend can hurt you a lot in certain situations, so you have to make a choice - the more deep the friendship, the more you may hurt yourself, same for relationships I guess.

For sure, I like casual friends alot but, when I really need somebody to talk to about something serious, I turn to my real friends..theres a few of them so I always have somebody to talk to ^_^

thcuteness 06-21-2009 09:24 PM

i think you really need a friend or at least a pet :/

mercedesjin 06-21-2009 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sitron (Post 736749)
I am a loner, and have been for a few years. I don't have a single friend. Not a single one to be with. When I'm at work it's okay because I don't feel like socializing. But I don't know what to do on weekends, and I don't know how to keep myself from jumping out the window during the lonely holidays.

How do you loners manage to get through days and weeks and months without being with friends? Don't you feel the loneliness keeps you from having goals, and aspirations?

I disagree. I feel like having friends messed up my aspirations and goals. There were too many petty social dramas that distracted me and got in the way of work and concentrating on my ambitions.

It's good to have friends, but I don't think you need to rely on friendships for motivation for aspirations and goals. I think you need to rely on yourself for motivation. And, I believe that out of concentrating on yourself and what you want, you draw people in because they'll be interested in what you're doing and you as a person.

So, I suggest you work on a new goal. It could be joining a local club, or writing a book and getting it published. Then out of that, you meet new people and make new friends.


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