JapanForum.com - Is Love Selfish? -For those out there that are creative thinkers

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaydelart (Post 797034)

Before determining whether or not love is selfish, I wonder: can love be generalized enough to provide reference for an answer?

No one is determining ! Just giving our opinion :]
Love can not be generalized, as it's different for everyone.
But that doesn't mean we can't share our opinions about it !

Quote:

Originally Posted by JasonTakeshi (Post 796911)

Would a mother give her life to save her children? Probably yes.

Why would she sacrifice her life in order to save her children?

- Selfishness. She wouldn't probably bear the pain of loosing her children, therefore she chooses to sacrifice herself so that she wouldn't have to bear with the loss of the children if they were to die if she didnt sacrifice herself.

You could say that she sacrificed herself in order to give life to her children, to give them an happy future.

But whose wish is this? Why does she want them to have an happy future? Why does she want them to be happy?

Because their happiness brings her happiness.

But the children, in the other hand, would suffer the loss of their mother. So thats pretty much passing the "painfull cross" to the children because she cannot bear it herself.

Everything we do is for ourselves. Just ourselves.

very philosophical indeed, exactly the type/kind of answer i am looking for, i am in the state of defining love/selfishness using a series of examples, all together to create a conceptual analysis of the topic.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rozurainbow (Post 797064)

No one is determining ! Just giving our opinion :]
Love can not be generalized, as it's different for everyone.
But that doesn't mean we can't share our opinions about it !

Yes, nothing can really be determined especially a concept, depending on the perspective you look at an issue, the pov of each party tends to opposes that of the other party(ies).

Quote:

Originally Posted by TalnSG (Post 797001)

The example was close to the way I was thinking. But I disagree that everything we do is just for ourselves. In the case of love there is more involved.

Depending on the viewpoint love is both selfish and selfless. When it becomes obsessive, or oppressive to another person, it is clearly selfish - and in those extremes I would not call it love, though some do.

Love is selfless when the person truly puts the interests of the person they love before their own, and many of us have done that. But even then there is an element of selfishness, because you cannot defer to another without some regret.

And why would we put the interests of the person we love higher than our own interests?

Lets pick the "mother" again:

She can only feed one person with the money she has. (lets assume that it cant be shared, so that i can go further)
She can choose to feed herself, or feed her child. But not both.

What do you think she would do? Feed her child.

Why?

- Child doesn't eat - mother's sad/not happy.
- Child starves - mother's sad/not happy.
- Child dies of starving - mother's sad/not happy.

Therefore, to avoid saddness, she chooses to starve herself, which she can bear easier than watching her child starve. Its all about unwanted/the way you manage your emotions in order to suit yourself.

But oh wait, wouldn't she be selfish if she actually didnt feed the child?

It depends on the eyes of the beholder. But the majority would say yes, no doubt. Because they consciously think that they are not selfish, but unconsciently they are.

True but the mother most likely also chooses her child for THEIR happiness.

So it is not ALL selfish . . .

This is a weird question.

Love is not selfish, but expecting those around you to act a certain way, bend to your will, or to manipulate for is.

whether love is selfish or not is very controversial much like other concepts, it depends on the angle in which one argues from, please try to stay away from answering yes, but instead give a scenario that says yes or a scenario that says no, we all these scenarios added together, then we can truly understand the concept a little bit deeper.

I have another question for you deep thinkers: is eating selfish?

Quote:

Originally Posted by manganimefan227 (Post 797201)

True but the mother most likely also chooses her child for THEIR happiness.

So it is not ALL selfish . . .

And why does she choose for the childs happiness?

Back to answer two.

Atleast thats how i see it. If anyone else has a different opinion, good. But i will stick with mine.

That doesn't mean i wont listen to new ones, ofc...

i have notice everyone is trying to define love being selfish or not selfish using the words love/selfish. how can we even define something when were using that something in our definition. example "apple- fruit from an apple tree"?
it doesn;t really say what apple is.