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You're missing the point entirely. Everyone is always selfish in some way or another. Every action we take is to benefit ourself - whether or not we choose to acknowledge that.
Every situation can be interpreted as "selfish", but the problem you seem to have with accepting that is the stigma behind the word. We hear the word tossed around so often with negative connotations its become extremely difficult to accept that describing one as selfish can be anything but a negative trait to their character. The question was if Love was selfish or not, and it is. We love because it makes us happy, because we all have a deep seeded fear of loss. As humans we hate to lose things, we hate to have things taken away from us, we hate to break social connections. We fight for love, or desire love because it makes us happy. There's nothing wrong with that, but the fact remains that we choose to take actions that benefit the ones we love because our loved one's happiness and continued attachment translates into our own happiness. It cycles back to our own gain; mental self preservation. Love is selfish in the literal sense. This isn't consciously selfish though. This is a human survival instinct. Since we can safely agree that the extreme majority of us, as humans, instinctively all desire companionship or fear loss, then we can exempt this behavior when asking if love is selfish in practice. |
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And no your "Everyone is always selfish in some way or another." statement is wrong, you're not selfish just because you gain something out of an action. You're selfish only if your main concern is to benefit just for yourself, regardless of what happens to others. Keep this in mind. I'll continue argue tomorrow, but you seem to misunderstand what is selfish or not. |
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There's two different ways we're looking at this here. You're adamant that being selfish in the practical sense is the only way of being selfish. What you quoted was me referring to selfishness in the literal sense. |
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Disappointing. |
That's what she said!
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That's what you were looking for? |
No . . .Why would I be?
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And what did I say? A little bit of selfishness in ever action doesn't make enough for the altruism which is the primary reason of the action. Love is not selfish. EOD. |
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Let me simplify this. Literal sense - we're all selfish. Practical sense - love is not selfish. It's almost as if you only read that original paragraph of mine you quoted; ignoring the rest of the post. |
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However there is no love without happiness, that is true, because it would not be love. Like I said, if you count 'happiness' as being selfish, there is a bit of it on many actions we do, thus us being a bit selfish, but what defines if we're selfish or not is the primary reason we did that action. Literally or practically, it is the same way. |
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