Is Love Selfish? -For those out there that are creative thinkers
 

Is Love Selfish?
Please share your thoughts, if possible please provide an example/scenario where
-yes, love is selfish
-no, love is not selfish
-a boarderline case, love is not selfish or its selfish

*note love doesn't necessary mean the intimacy between 2 people or more people, it can be an individual having an affection towards a person, place, thing, a concept, and etc.

It's neither, it just is. It's a bonding apparatus of the species. In the case of romantic love, it's a strong biochemical response much the same as sexual response is, and with a similar purpose (and similar use as a leisure activity by many).

My two cents . . .

OK people who live by the belief that all Love is selfish, I don't believe that. Such a thought process leads you to "sticking your middle finger to the world" And hating everything because you believe love makes you seem like a bad person and with nothing to value through love, feeling living only means sticking yourself in the evil poison would probably make one want to destroy it or just kill themselves.

But there is such a thing as too MUCH love such as Hitler and, not to pick on them, but the Whites several times in the past. Hitler loved only certain people so much, he wanted to get rid of people who did not fit the description. This is where love becomes selfish

So in conclusion, the people who say "Love is a delicate balance" are right! Love to feel purpouse and fufillment from life and to find pure happiness but at the same timelearn to accept and them appreciate, love and celebrate those different than you!:pandahurray:

I believe the friendship kind of love is selfish, because some friends are there so you dont have to be alone. But parental love, girl or boyfriend-like love and real friendship arent selfish. Unless youre a real bitch ! n_n

The example was close to the way I was thinking. But I disagree that everything we do is just for ourselves. In the case of love there is more involved.

Depending on the viewpoint love is both selfish and selfless. When it becomes obsessive, or oppressive to another person, it is clearly selfish - and in those extremes I would not call it love, though some do.

Love is selfless when the person truly puts the interests of the person they love before their own, and many of us have done that. But even then there is an element of selfishness, because you cannot defer to another without some regret.

So basically love is only selfish when i comes from anywhere but ze heart!!

I don't think so. I agree with what someone said above, that we do everything for ourselves. However, that doesn't mean we are truely selfish.

If you love someone, whether it be intimate, parential, friendship, etc. you wish for their happiness, success, etc.

If you are a lover, you will try to make your partner happy. If you are a mother/father, you will strive to make your children happy, loving, successful, etc. If you are a friend, you will do everything in your power to make your friend happy. We do these things because they make someone happy, and more importantly, it makes us happy.

Love is definately not selfless, but because you're doing something to benefit both sides with the intent that both sides being happy, love isn't selfish.

Confusing, I know. Sorry >>

Before determining whether or not love is selfish, I wonder: can love be generalized enough to provide reference for an answer?

Agreee! :]

No one is determining ! Just giving our opinion :]
Love can not be generalized, as it's different for everyone.
But that doesn't mean we can't share our opinions about it !

very philosophical indeed, exactly the type/kind of answer i am looking for, i am in the state of defining love/selfishness using a series of examples, all together to create a conceptual analysis of the topic.

Yes, nothing can really be determined especially a concept, depending on the perspective you look at an issue, the pov of each party tends to opposes that of the other party(ies).

True but the mother most likely also chooses her child for THEIR happiness.

So it is not ALL selfish . . .

This is a weird question.

Love is not selfish, but expecting those around you to act a certain way, bend to your will, or to manipulate for is.

whether love is selfish or not is very controversial much like other concepts, it depends on the angle in which one argues from, please try to stay away from answering yes, but instead give a scenario that says yes or a scenario that says no, we all these scenarios added together, then we can truly understand the concept a little bit deeper.

I have another question for you deep thinkers: is eating selfish?

i have notice everyone is trying to define love being selfish or not selfish using the words love/selfish. how can we even define something when were using that something in our definition. example "apple- fruit from an apple tree"?
it doesn;t really say what apple is.

Don't be mistaken. I was speaking for myself, and my question was my answer.
If love cannot be generalized, how can I say love is generally selfish or not?

What is considered selfish? What is considered love?
If these ideas are not thoroughly defined in the question, every response is subjective. Therefore, my opinion is that the question expects no answers or every answer, so my answer is not necessarily an answer; it is a question.


Yes, I'm crazy.

correct, even if its define, it can be subjective, bcuz there is a limit to how much we can define.

This discussion is now close. I already handed in my paper.

Well then, Glad we could be youe little subjects ^_^

Hope your teacher recieves it well!!

arigatou minnasan

I LOVED this topic n_n
good enough to make another one like this.

But I also said that love is also a "way to survive". It bonds people and families which is required to survive because the human species can't survive alone. It's not a human invention to love a mate nor a whim, but just as much of a biological trait as sex. At least that's the most likely scenario, unless I see any evidence that love is a magical force spawned in a Disney cartoon, or something of the sort. But there is plenty of evidence for the workings of the biochemistry of romantic love, so we can only assume any "love" has to do with biochemicals. Although at that point, we could just as well say that for all human emotions; and it would be true.

My main point in saying all that is to not make the mistake of thinking love is a special or noble force. it could be if you want to see it that way, but I could say the same thing about Jesus, Allah, or the angel UFOs in Knowing (movie). I see the acceptance of ignorance in any way as a defeat for humanity. But that doesn't mean I think we should ignore or even willingly diminish "love" any more than I think we should ignore eating because some monk on a hill somewhere in India thinks it's impure.

i'll think of another one like this.
conceptual analysis style

No, being selfish means you do it only for yourself. If you also do it for others, no matter if you enjoy helping them or not... it's not selfishness. You have issues understanding what 'selfish' means.

Comming from you sounds really kinky.

I dont need to explain my point over and over again. You're the one with issues understanding what "selfish" means according to my analysis/deduction.

My analysis differs from yours, nothing you say will change the way i see it and nothing I say will change the way you see it.

Edit: I respect your point, but i disagree.

Coming from me? o.O, It's ridiculous doing such accusations with people you debate, but ok, I don't really care.

Read a dictionary, they explain it very well. If you're gonna say again your definition of 'selfishness' is different from the usual, then I will just quit ever arguing with you.

Please do keep in mind that, there is no such thing as right or wrong, its only a matter of perspectives and view points. try not to argue right or wrong, but instead convince yourself that your point of view is good, without using the context of other's view point.

Mine is not a point of view. Here is what selfishness means:

"1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives."

In the example we had, parents would die for their own child, thus being concerned about someone else's benefit before themselves. there is no possible misinterpretation going on here.

I know and I always keep in mind that no one had same opinions on such arguments, but this is not the case.

I can agree with you, in most instances, the parents are willing to give up their lifes to save their children, we can see a lot of these examples all around us whether its from movies or in news papers. however from an objection point of view one could argue that, the life of a parent loosing their child is too painful so that the parent rather give away their life and let the child suffer the pain intead, hence from the perspective of the of the children, the parent has a certain degree of selfishness (which this degree cannot be define). Another way to look at it is that the parent is selfish to him/herself because he/she sacrifice his/her life to protect what is his/her's and in this case its the child, saving the children is devoted to caring for oneself too. So i would liekt o conclude that selfishness itself is much more than a dictionary definition, the degree of accuracy of a dictionary defintion does not always apply to every situation, such that the laws of physics holds true until it holds true. its better to treat a dictionary definition as an insight or as a standard of measurement in society. But when analyzing a concept, i believe the proper way to go is to looking at it from all degrees possible, or think of it in a way where different perspectives creates a bigger perspective.

I am not tryign to prove who is right or who is wrong.

You deformed the example we had put. There is no bad perspective from the child, unless the child doesn't know its parent at all.

Looking from different angles doesn't make any difference, because they all exist. the problem relies on what is the parent concerned more of, their child's happy life, saving some posession of theirs or whatever else.

And using the definition of 'selfishness' we can easily conclude that the parent is not selfish because their main goal is their child's happy future (unless you would argue even that). See? Dictionaries help a lot.

Jason and Phantom= Best debaters in all of JF

yup yup そうですよ