Would Japanese people agree with this?
 

USATODAY.com - No sex please we're Japanese


this was written in 2004-- I wonder if it is true or typical.

I am not keen on statistics in general.

I would tentatively agree with the article.....

TENTATIVELY

After reading a book written by a former Japanese correspondent for a British media outlet... I kinda think that articles written in the west about Japan are exaggerated and quite frankly... better off in the trash can. (The book is called "How to Japan" I dont remember the authors name)

It makes sense but I dont think it speaks for everyone.

Im at a Japanese university and university students it seems are as active as their western counterparts when it comes to women.

True or not, it had me chuckling.

In the 1970's there was a very popular comic stage play "No Sex Please, We're British". And it has since been made into a movie.

;)

Staying in a seaside hotel with a girl and not making a move? That's like ordering a burger and throwing away the patty. But, there are actually some people who don't like meat, and I think there is a grain of truth in the story too, just vastly exaggerated. The main cause of the decline in the marriage and birth rate is most likely the economy, imo.

Funny the title is a parody of a British play from the 70's when UK's economy was in a quagmire. I was in the UK in the early 90's, also an economic low time, and I have been secretly thinking that the stifled atmosphere Japan has right now is similar to the one I saw in the UK back then.

I always seem to pull experiences from my life that contradict these types of articles, but I've noticed a LOT of marriages and births in my area. As a matter of fact, the number of students per classroom has started to increase a little bit. Given there are some areas that are still kind of spiraling downward population wise in the prefecture, in my general area people seem to be quite healthy- in that sense.

My wife attributed it to the fact that we live in the inaka, so there isn't much to do entertainment wise... and plus the economy isn't too good. I'm sure you can figure what the equation consists of, but what it equates to is more kids :p .

To be honest though, I find that article hard to believe in the sense that I don't think that kind of thing happens too often at all. Men are men pretty much no matter what nationality they are, so I think that most guys wouldn't end up in the situation that was written about.

As a side note, how would the article account for all the "love hotels" around Japan? (which there are quite a few of). I know it's been a few years since that articles been written, but I think now-a-days what you're seeing a lot of is the 出来ちゃった結婚 (which means that the girl got pregnant so there's gonna be a marriage for that reason).

I don't blame Japanese women for not marrying much anymore. You have to give up a lot of things just to be stuck with someone who doesn't do anything for you. Independence is bliss. Except if you don't have your own place and you're leeching off your parents. :)

ah yukisuke-- BUT marriage can be so fulfilling with the right person. I have been married for almost fifty years-- we are still together and share many interests and have wonderful children and grandchildren. It is giving rather than taking-- that makes it worthwhile.

I think the whole marriage thing (in Japan) has a lot of different causes. If you really look into it you'll see that there are many factors that people believe have lead to what we see today. You could write a book contemplating all of those factors to be quite honest.

Actually, what I understand is that the new generations of married couples in Japan are starting to spread work more evenly between both spouses. Though this seems to be the trend in a lot of places, not just japan. It's anecdotal of course, but when I was in Fukuoka this summer the women's english class had three students (probably about 30, 45 and 60 if I had to ballpark their ages), and the two older women showed some surprise that the youngest student's husband did chores around the house. Also, from personal experience (not with marriage, but relationships) I'd say don't knock it till you've tried it (or found the right person).

My take on this is that there is more family support in the country side, and more money to go around because of it. In the country, there is a pretty fair chance that you`re going to either be living with or very close to your extended family... In other words, free childcare if you work, or free food and kid stuff if you don`t. Not to mention that there is a lot more pressure to produce grandchildren.

Even if there is no family in the area, the cost of living itself and the cost of childcare/schooling is lower. Where my in-laws live, you could probably survive on the stuff people leave in the doorway when they cook too much or grow too much in the garden. I would be willing to bet you could go months without buying much of anything at all. Because of this and the low price of stuff in general - it`s a lot easier to only have one person working to support the household.

The problem is that so many people have moved out to the cities where there isn`t much support, where things cost a lot, and where time is hard to come by because everyone has to work to get by.

When both you and your partner are working 12 hour days, it`s hard to find the time and energy to "practice" making babies, let alone the time to really make and raise one.

Just because spouses are not as active with each other doesn't mean activity isn't happening. That is a pretty large industry in Japan.

oh man....

but we don`t know about the japan situation in now,right?...
hope everything is okay ^^

That sounds like a really good explanation. Unfortunately though, even in the inaka the whole 'family support' thing is slowly but surely falling out of favor to what you're describing about more urban areas. For the time being though, I think that is probably the biggest factor.

Even without the family support though, the difference in the cost of living is still there. Childcare services don`t have year+ waiting lists. You can usually buy a lot of what you need from people who make it - cutting out the shop surcharge. Housing isn`t as tight, so not only are living spaces significantly larger - they`re also much much cheaper. (To give contrast - my husband and I were renting a 1DK for 55,000/month in a metropolitan city... While his brother and sister lived together in a 2LDK for 34,000/month in a countryside city.)

For raising a child, the countryside is better... But for most everything else I prefer the city.

Hi again yukisuke

I have been fortunate-- I did not rush into marriage-- in fact didn't want to get married, but I have a very good man. I am the lucky one.

The pace of life is hard for young couples these days-- here in Uk cost of living is so high-- its not easy. But a good loyal friend is always a treasure to have.A friend is priceless. I am getting older than I wish to be ha ha but still lead an interesting life as I have many hobbies.

I wish you a good fulfilling life

Thank you. And likewise on the good fulfilling life thing. :)

I live in a fairly unique part of Japan in that there is such a large concentration of foreigners and there's also a lot of mixed marriages. In recent years there's been a huge baby boom. A large portion of people we know have recently had or are expecting a baby. I think there must be something in the water up here! ;)

Still I think there is some truth to that article. Japan doesn't have such an aging population issue for nothing, people just haven't been having enough kids.

It is my experience that in most marriages between Japanese couples up this way the wife will discontinue full time work. And nearly all will discontinue work altogether for at least a few years after having a kid. There still seems to be a reasonable amount of societal expectation that they do this. There also appears to still be some prejudice against advancement for women in the workforce, especially if they are married or have children. So it stands to reason that if women want to have a successful career here getting married isn't really going to be very helpful.

Also with Japanese men still working some of the longest average hours per week it stands to reason they are hardly feeling all that amorous after 12 hours+ at work and probably a few drinks afterwards before getting home very late at night. From what I can tell from discussions with friends it's also not all that uncommon for husband and wife to sleep in separate beds or bedrooms.

Government assistance for families is minimal, certainly not enough to encourage any major baby boom in recent years. When a fair portion of wives also drop out of the workforce permanently it doesn't make it any easier financially for couples here to have more than 1 or 2 kids.

It might be that working hour in Japan is very long, so women got to choose between career (plus independence) vs. family (and the man you mightn't be able to see him often because he come home late everynight) that might be the cause.

But I think the real problem is the same as everyone's idea. It's economic. With rising living cost, to conceive a baby might be too much to afford, especially in big city like Tokyo and Osaka. Life's very competitive. It's hard to make enough money to raise children nowaday. I think not only in Japan, but every big city in the world.