well MIss MIsa I am beginning to think that you are a male judging by many of your comments.

So if you were male you would skedaddle. It's not your problem but then, judging by many of your previous posts you don't really like children do you?


It's sso easy to shirk responsibility isn't it.

Never mind what happens to the child.


This world is full of men who just disappear from the scene.

bet You would.

Ah yes giving Birth-- I had three children-- first one died after a too long labour--- think I know a little about it-- and no mother to help me out either.

I think you're failing to see the dilemma here.

Misa GN and I think it's unfair for a woman to have a baby when it hasn't been agreed upon.

Which makes your experiences irrelevant to the discussion.

of course RONIN-- what else would one expect from you.

point is that sex was mutual-- a child has been conceived-- SO?

Sex was mutual but the desire to bring a child into the world was not from the beginning.

THAT is the dilemma.

Who the hell do you think you are? Don't like children? You really do seem to let loose at times only to come back and apologise a post or two later. Maybe you should actually read what you write before pressing submit. Or are you really such a spiteful old lady?

The point here is that both parties had taken precautions against having a child. Neither had planned on having a child. The father certainly doesn't appear to be overly ready to take on the mantle of fathership. If he chooses to take on the responsibility then that's great. I just don't believe it is fair that his entire life is now completely changed because of an accident. Legally I would assume that he will have to pay child support whether he chooses to be part of the childs life or not. Still bringing the child into the world is the mothers choice. In this case where both parties were being responsible about contraception I don't think it is fair the father should be held to ransom, emotionally and financially if he doesn't wish for the pregnancy to go ahead. Her choice, her responsibility.

I was 38 when we had our daughter and in a very comfortable financial position and emotionally quite ready. Although it did take us nearly 3 years of trying before finally getting pregnant. I can barely imagine the stress the OP is going through being possibly forced against his will to take on the incredible responsibility of being a father at an age that no one should even be thinking of such things.

Not sure where my post went, but to sum it up.

We let Mothers have a choice if they want to become Mums so therefore we cannot force Fathers to become Dads.


It is not running away if he said from the start he doesn't want a child, then before birth decides to have nothing to do with the child ever (other than any legal financial obligations - I don't always agree with these but you cannot flaunt the law)

The mother should respect this and as she chose to have the child (she chose to have it because she didn't abort or give it up for adoption) it is her sole responsibility and she cannot demand support from anyone else.

If he wants to stay with the gf but not be a Dad this is practically impossible, just as it is impossible to get involved with a woman with a child in a serious long term relationship without become some kind of step-dad.

He has been forced into the choice of staying with her and becoming a Dad, or leaving her and deciding if he wants to have the Dad role or not. Society will pressure him into being the Dad to the child even though he doesn't want to either way.

I feel really concerned for OP and hope he finds a way through it that he finds agreeable. Don't listen to society and do what you want for yourself, do not feel pressured or forced to do anything you don't want if you can help it, stand your ground! Good Luck :)

it fine we all have our opinons of what is right and what is wrong which is fine
.
But it seem that she wants the child and he does not want the child. how do you get a fair compromise without hurting the other party?

its obvious that you don't care a hang about the child in all of this Marisa.


Don't listen to society or conscience. Listen to Marisa and clear off.

A child has been created. was it by immaculate conception?

why not just clear off and leave the woman to deal with the aftermath.

Must be great to be a fella.

People are entitled to their opinions. Marisa is entitled to hers.

This thread was specifically written for a specific case where the original poster wanted specific advice to his specific situation . . . if you want to argue about abandonment, adoption, right/wrong, responsibilities then please do so in an appropriate thread. You seem to hijack a LOT of threads just to say 'xyz problem is tantamount to abandonment and these fathers/mothers are scum', and not only is that not helpful to the poor guy who started this thread, it's not helpful in any of the other threads where you do this either.

Marisa has her opinions. Everyone hear has their opinions. There is no right or wrong answer, so please don't make assumptions or cruel comments about Marisa when you know nothing about her.

Off-topic rant over.