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-   -   talking about respect (https://www.japanforum.com/forum/general-discussion/36015-talking-about-respect.html)

steven 02-08-2011 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM (Post 850134)
In Japan privacy is at a premium, so "live and let live" and not concerning yourself with what goes on behind closed doors permeates society. I don't want people concerning themselves with my business, so I will stay out of theirs.

I'm sorry, but in my experience privacy is "at a premium" (in quotes on purpose). The idea is, people aren't supposed to ask about that kind of stuff, but people ALWAYS ask me about that kind of stuff. It's ridiculous almost how X-rated some of my conversations have become. I'm not talking about one group, this is about young & old, men & women. Men try to get some weird 'H' details. Women seem to want to get your life story and your dating record. While I'm sure other people have different stories, in my experience it's like how you're not supposed to eat with your elbows on the table-- people get that it's wrong, but a ton of people just do it anyways. While they know they aren't supposed to talk about that kind of thing, some people will go ahead and ask how often you do "H" so they can segway into how their 'sessions' work. It's especially uncomfortable when there are women around... and when even higher up people are nearby. YIKES!

CoolNard 02-08-2011 09:55 AM

It comes down to responsibilities. Money, kids, commitment? I think it's a matter of want, as well as, a matter of accountability. Sure, some people don't want them and they have their one-night stands, and if nothing untoward happens - great job. But should a kid pop out and you can't afford it, you're the sucker. If there's a life at stake, I totally disagree and I won't hesitate to disrespect those people.

RealJames 02-08-2011 01:28 PM

So only people who can handle having kids should ever have sex, or it's disrespectful?
Yeah I don't think I can agree with that... imagine a society of people who don't have sex until they're well employed lol
So many marriages wouldn't even be able to be consummated, at least not respectfully heh

RobinMask 02-08-2011 02:10 PM

Post Deleted.

CoolNard 02-08-2011 02:12 PM

I didn't say that. I said "if there's a life at stake". Technology is so advanced now, so I wouldn't deny that there might be a way to maximize the impossibility of pregnancy. However, say the probability is always associated with sex, then that society you mentioned doesn't sound bad to me. What sounds bad to me is 'accidentally' having kids and aborting them/abandoning them/mistreating them. People like that are nothing short of pricks, who have no care for another's life for a fleeting moment of orgasm.

P.S. I agree with Robin.

dogsbody70 02-08-2011 02:19 PM

there was a time when courting couples were chaperoned so they would not do anything they shouldn't.


Why do some youths call some girls SLAGS? Because they think they are easy and they despise them for that even though they may well have Used the girl for their own needs.

Those who were brought up strictly religious were taught no sex until marriage. Of course it still went on but mostly in secret and God help the girl who got herself pregnant.

When the American forces were here during the war many of them left their offspring behind or found excuses not to marry the girl.

No doubt that happens everywhere else also.

Maybe its since the Pill came into the market that there were so many changes-- Using contraception meant easy sex.

when I think of all those children who went away for adoption and were taken from their mothers.

There seems to be far less concerns these days of the consequences but when we have such a high amount of teenage pregnancies I feel that is not good at all.


Self respect!! Respect for others. considering AIDS and all the other STD's.

MMM 02-08-2011 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steven (Post 850154)
I'm sorry, but in my experience privacy is "at a premium" (in quotes on purpose). The idea is, people aren't supposed to ask about that kind of stuff, but people ALWAYS ask me about that kind of stuff. It's ridiculous almost how X-rated some of my conversations have become. I'm not talking about one group, this is about young & old, men & women. Men try to get some weird 'H' details. Women seem to want to get your life story and your dating record. While I'm sure other people have different stories, in my experience it's like how you're not supposed to eat with your elbows on the table-- people get that it's wrong, but a ton of people just do it anyways. While they know they aren't supposed to talk about that kind of thing, some people will go ahead and ask how often you do "H" so they can segway into how their 'sessions' work. It's especially uncomfortable when there are women around... and when even higher up people are nearby. YIKES!

I understand what you are saying Steven. It's part of being a foreigner in Japan. That being said, there is a difference in Japan between asking about private affairs, and judging people's actions behind closed doors. Again, as long as you aren't hurting anyone, no one seems to judge your actions. I can't say the same is true in the US.

protheus 02-08-2011 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suki (Post 850090)
a dick of reasonable dimensions.

So, how does a guy "include" this subject in a date to be able to keep her interested? (well, I'm just curios, are there such kind of guys?).

Or, mostly, is a "he says/she says", rumour kinda thing that goes around until it reaches the "G spot" of a "King Kong" fangirl?*


*of course, its clear, I like to exaggerate in comparisons and so on :D .

Suki 02-08-2011 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by protheus (Post 850182)
So, how does a guy "include" this subject in a date to be able to keep her interested? (well, I'm just curios, are there such kind of guys?).

Errr he doesn't. Not the kinda thing you wanna bring up when you engage in conversation with a stranger. BUT if you've already had sex with a girl and it went well, she's likely to wanna meet up again, or at least she will consider hooking up for a night of casual sex some other time in the future. That's what I'd do anyway if I knew -from previous experience- that the guy is good.

Rinai 02-09-2011 02:41 AM

To be honest, if I guy thinks I'm 'easy' then I get pretty offended. I mean, sure there's flirtation but already thinking of getting into a girl's pants so soon is just plain wrong. Well, not wrong{I'll word that so no one get's all defensive} I guess but it's disrespectful with someone who's just trying to play it simple in a relationship or friendship. If I hear a guy thinks I'm 'easy' then I'll just to a complete 180 and basically give them I guess a limited friendship so they don't get the wrong idea from me. Eh. I've come across a few 'promiscuous' girls here and there. They're not a total pain. I mean, it's their business. It'll only annoy me if their ruining someone else's relationship if they themselves are already in one or are fooling around with some other guy. Other than that I really couldn't care either way. Is it safe? Uh. Just play safe. For those people who are enjoying the sex life, I just really hope they're taking good care of themselves.

*plooka plooka*


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